Silly things that have happened to you

This thread has started me thinking back about all the less than stellar moments that I and my friends managed to live through back in the day. :D

For this one, it needs a little geological and farming knowledge. Where I live in Texas is smack dab in the middle of what's called the "Blackland Prairie". The dirt type is known as "Houston Clay". There are 4 type, the differences being particle size, primarily. Great for crops. When it's wet, it's like trying to walk through glue or drive on quicksand. But when it's dry, it can get as hard as concrete. A tractor dragging a plow will just "skip" on the hardpan under the top few inches. It plows up into large, hard clods that need to be disced up to smaller size clods and harrowed to even smaller pierces for planting.

We had a pasture area where we shelled corn after the corn had been harvested. (Now days, the combines shell the ear corn as it is harvested, but back in the 60s, you harvested the ears, then sheels it in a separate process before storing it. You would shovel dry ear corn in one end and cobs/shucks would blow out the other end and shell corn would pour out into a trailer along one side. The sheller was about 12 feet tall and 25 feet long.

The pasture had recently been plowed and disced, but not harrowed, so it was 12 acres of rock hard dirt clods that were golf ball to softball sized. When I was about 8 y.o., One of my cousins and I were playing hard ball catch. I ended up over throwing him and the ball landed up in the works on top of the sheller. "House rules" were that he who threw it somewhere odd, had to get it.

So I climbed up the side of the sheller, threw the ball down and in the "wisdom of an 8 y.o.", I decided to jump off rather than climb down. Back then everyone wore their blue jeans with cuffs, since we grew up faster than out and out parents bought our pants too long so we'd grow into them. Well, one of my cuffs caught on a bolt as I jumped and suddenly I was hung by a cuff and I was bouncing off the sheller. Then the cuff ripped and I fell face first into the plowed/disced clods. I ended up with cuts and road rash from the top of my forehead to my belly button.

Not exactly how I wanted to go back to school that week. :eek:
 
Wow, that's gotta hurt! Farms they can lend a lot of funny stories, yours reminded me of one of mine.

My grandfather, my stepmom's stepdad so he's quite a bit away in blood but still was a really neat guy, Abraham Shames, came over from the old country, lived in Newark NJ as a baker, moved out into the hills of northern PA to be a farmer...without a clue as to how to do it, think Green Acres and you'll get the idea. But he tried.

One of my younger brothers and I would have to pitch fork out the calves barn, it would get 2 to 3 feet deep in there with layers of straw and calve droppings, like lasagna you wouldn't want to eat. We would dig through that and toss it into a wheel barrow and then have to wheel it out into the field and spread it around, we did not have a manure spreader. It was tough work for young kids, but kept us out of trouble. It was my brothers turn to take the wheel barrow out, he refused, too tired.

I said it's your turn, you take it out. Then he laughed and said nope, not doing it. So...I had a three prong pitch fork I was using and held it like a spear and aimed it at his legs. I said you take that out or I'll throw this at you! Of course he laughed again and my short temper I threw the pitch fork.

BUT, I'm not evil, I purposely aimed it off to the side so it would miss him, just wanted to scare him. The knuckle head JUMPED into the path of the pitch fork and one prong went into his leg, he screamed bloody murder and had to be taken to the hospital right away...while I had to continue with the cleaning.

Yep, farming, lots of fun stuff there :)

G2
 
Yeah - that knuckle head jumped into the path of the pitchfork that the other knuckle head threw :eek:
That's a good family story Gary :D

My brother stabbed me in the end with a hat pin after chasing me all around the neighborhood. He was mad about something that day :) And just like a knuckle head, I jumped right into that hat pin cheeks first :D

I love my brother always!

Ray
 
I was painting using an 80 foot lift. We only had the lift for one more day so I had just pulled a straight 12 hour session, no breaks, to finish the job. I was taking the lift out to the road for it to be picked up when I felt a sudden uncomfortable dropping sensation and realized I needed to poop, badly. put the bucket down close to the ground and jumped off. Then I realized my mistake, I forgot to unhook my harness. It caught and the sudden force of the drop... um... well, ever squeeze a new tube of toothpaste too hard? That.
 
cj65 said:
I rented a room (subleased) from a buddy at a small 2 bedroom one bath house. I was in my twenties. One night I entered the house believing it should be empty, heard the floor boards creak in my room. I peaked down the hallway and saw my door shutting slowly. I grabbed a framing hammer that was close, claw out, ran towards my room, flung open my door, almost sunk it into my buddy's skull, thinking he was an intruder. He screamed in terror as I was also shaking from the adrenaline. He was placing a Black Velvet poster girl life size stand up in my room as part of a prank. I interrupted his effort. He had pulled his truck into the back yard, so I thought our humble rural shack was empty. I was proud of myself for defending my space. I almost ran out of the house when I knew for sure someone was in my room. Hind sight, I had little of value at that time in my life, there was nothing to steal, it would have been a smarter safer thing to do.
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Skickat från min iPhone med Tapatalk
 
I did something pretty retarded just yesterday. My wife hadn't used her Ruger 22 in a while so I was sighting it in on a sand bag. For some stupid as all get-out reason I decided it would be a good idea to extend my left thumb vertically while firing a shot. Well of coarse the top section snapped back and then forward slicing my thumb but not removing any skin. I'm one of those people who gets cut almost all the time and never has much issue. We spend another hour or so sighting in and checking the trueness of a few more guns. I use the old finger in mouth trick while the bleeding persists until it stops. Once we get inside I was my hands and everything looks all hunky dory. Once inside it was obviously time to clean and lube a few guns, especially the AR so I do this and of coarse have oil everywhere. I figure it's not a big deal as I washed my hands afterwards. Of coarse before I went to bed last night I took a shower so I wasn't worried at all.

Wake up this morning and my finger is flat out throbbing. I look down and of coarse there is puss built up under the top layer of skin...

What I should have done was use the electrical tape that I keep in my 4 wheeler to wrap the cut, but in typical stupid fashion I didn't think it was that bad and I knew the bleeding would stop on it's own so.... So this morning of coarse I got to slice the top layer of the wound off, fully opening it and cleaning it properly with peroxide.

Will I do the same exact thing next time I am working on something or doing something and cut myself, probably. Do I have anybody to blame but my own stupid self? Nope, I know better.
 
Amoo said:
I did something pretty retarded just yesterday. My wife hadn't used her Ruger 22 in a while so I was sighting it in on a sand bag. For some stupid as all get-out reason I decided it would be a good idea to extend my left thumb vertically while firing a shot. Well of coarse the top section snapped back and then forward slicing my thumb but not removing any skin. I'm one of those people who gets cut almost all the time and never has much issue. We spend another hour or so sighting in and checking the trueness of a few more guns. I use the old finger in mouth trick while the bleeding persists until it stops. Once we get inside I was my hands and everything looks all hunky dory. Once inside it was obviously time to clean and lube a few guns, especially the AR so I do this and of coarse have oil everywhere. I figure it's not a big deal as I washed my hands afterwards. Of coarse before I went to bed last night I took a shower so I wasn't worried at all.

Wake up this morning and my finger is flat out throbbing. I look down and of coarse there is puss built up under the top layer of skin...

What I should have done was use the electrical tape that I keep in my 4 wheeler to wrap the cut, but in typical stupid fashion I didn't think it was that bad and I knew the bleeding would stop on it's own so.... So this morning of coarse I got to slice the top layer of the wound off, fully opening it and cleaning it properly with peroxide.

Will I do the same exact thing next time I am working on something or doing something and cut myself, probably. Do I have anybody to blame but my own stupid self? Nope, I know better.
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What you should have done is carried a first aid kit with some proper dressings and antiseptics; and never put it in your mouth, the only worse place you could have stuck it on your body is on the other end of the pipeline.
 
Just last night, a friend at work loaned me his Sony receiver, as he had bought all my 'good' stuff and had pity on me being without any stereo system ;) I had a pair of old iFi Klipsch speakers but they work better with the sub they came with which died. So I hooked up his receiver, those small but solid speakers and a dvd player I had so I could play some CD's. First off, the speakers without the sub sound terrible, pretty broke right now and add to us moving soon, not going to afford any other speakers or subwoofer in the near future.

While I was connecting things up, the receiver was on, and I was standing in front of it and I heard a soft rustle sound, not quite a crackle but it sure sounded like something 'noisy' was happening in the receiver !!! I leaned closer and listened close, nothing then, I moved back and towards the dvd player and heard it again! Same sound, made chicken moves with my head looking at the receiver, tilting my head to hear better/closer and there it was again! that sound...

THEN I realized the stone shelf that my leg was up against, my pants are heavy carhartt type and it was the pants rubbing across the stones LOL what a goof eh? but that goes to show, if you think things are going to not go well, you start inventing the problem on the spot.

G2
 
Thanks for all of the stories. My wife and I have laughed and laughed at all the misadventures.
 
Many years ago, my wife and I were visiting her parents for the weekend. I took my deer rifle and went for a stroll in his pasture. At the back of his property was a grown-over drainage ditch which looked like a natural deer corridor. along the ditch were many small saplings where there were many severe rubs, some small trees being nearly completely denuded. I decide to take a stand there until dark.

When I got back to their house, over supper my FNL asked where I had been and I told him I had been sitting on the ditch. That's when one of my nephews asked, "Back there where granddaddy's goats ate all the bark off those trees?"

Nobody knows the truth but my wife, and now you.
 
My wonderful GF visited just after I put in a new bathroom . At one point she came out of the bathroom and asked , 'I've scrubbed and scrubbed but can't get those dark areas off the ceramic tile , how can I do it ? ' I was at a loss on what to say but explained the streaks were part of the design , didn't she note all the tiles had the same pattern ? Later she saw the humor of it.
Another time I told her of the bear that visited .She didn't believe me .I brought her to the back door and pointed to the paw prints . he had stood up and the paws of the young bear reached up almost 6' . Now do you believe me ??
 
MikeH said:
Many years ago, my wife and I were visiting her parents for the weekend. I took my deer rifle and went for a stroll in his pasture. At the back of his property was a grown-over drainage ditch which looked like a natural deer corridor. along the ditch were many small saplings where there were many severe rubs, some small trees being nearly completely denuded. I decide to take a stand there until dark.

When I got back to their house, over supper my FNL asked where I had been and I told him I had been sitting on the ditch. That's when one of my nephews asked, "Back there where granddaddy's goats ate all the bark off those trees?"

Nobody knows the truth but my wife, and now you.
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This one is funny. Sounds like something I might have done. (Please note the underline.) :D

Ray
 
This is from long, long ago.

The climate to the south of me here in Canada has a lot of unfamiliar things lurking in nature other than what I was used to. Some innocuous, some just painful, some dangerous. I was completely unprepared (dumb) but I was definitely headed out solo (+ 1 old dog Mokie and 1 pup Tess) slam door tenting in the southern US to dodge a little of the Canadian winter for the first time. La la la la la

After a full day's drive from previous camp, we arrived after dark in unfamiliar territory at the state park on Mustang Island, Texas. I was completely exhausted. The entry looked reassuring and the gate was open, but I could not locate staff to check me in. I drove in anyway, past signs warning of poisonous snakes.

So far in these travels I had bled over fire ants and cactus spikes. While camping in Alligator Alley, I had been literally dragged into the tent by the cuffs of my shorts by Tess ... just to escape the ticks. Apparently she knew and I didn't! To this day I am grateful that I had not lost one of my companions to alligators due to my ignorance of the dangers all around my campsites.

Now parked on the beach in Texas, windows all rolled down, listening to the surf crash in, cooled in a wonderful breeze off the gulf coast - exhausted and safe - I decided to sleep overnight in my vehicle. Poisonous snakes eh? We'll see in the morning. Smartening up. We dropped off to a dead sleep immediately.

I was way beyond waking when the sounds of teeth gnashing and snapping pulled me to the surface. The breeze off the gulf had calmed to still. Droves, herds of huge ugly mosquitoes (like the undead in "Pirates ..." movies) were coming in over the windows in clouds, in waves! Windows closed now. Blood seeking drones ... the pups bit and snapped, I swatted ... but nothing stopped these incessant bloodsuckers - too many inside.

I did what always works for me in such situations. I started the car, drove as fast as possible with the heater blasting and windows open to cook or blow them out ... and headed off the beach and toward the exit so I could hit some pavement where I could really go full throttle.

But dead stop. The entry gate was closed for the night :eek:

I drove back to the campsite on the beach and just smacked and smacked ... I smacked them on the windows, on the roof inside, on the door panels, on the pups ... it was horrible ... until the last mosquito was a blood smear. The roof was smeared with blood, the dogs were wide eyed, but could rest finally.

We stayed on and enjoyed our camp for several days ... but I came to wonder if the pups had lost their grip a little. They would stare at the dunes like wolves at prey, yet when I turned to see what caught their interest, there was nothing. Zip. Thus began my familiarity with ghost crabs. Ha.

The youngest, impressionable pup Tess, would never again in her life see me swat an insect without taking cover.

One little experience in a warmly remembered camp trip overall. Would I do it again? You bet :thumbsup:
 
taldesta said:
This is from long, long ago.

The climate to the south of me here in Canada has a lot of unfamiliar things lurking in nature other than what I was used to. Some innocuous, some just painful, some dangerous. I was completely unprepared (dumb) but I was definitely headed out solo (+ 1 old dog Mokie and 1 pup Tess) slam door tenting in the southern US to dodge a little of the Canadian winter for the first time. La la la la la

After a full day's drive from previous camp, we arrived after dark in unfamiliar territory at the state park on Mustang Island, Texas. I was completely exhausted. The entry looked reassuring and the gate was open, but I could not locate staff to check me in. I drove in anyway, past signs warning of poisonous snakes.

So far in these travels I had bled over fire ants and cactus spikes. While camping in Alligator Alley, I had been literally dragged into the tent by the cuffs of my shorts by Tess ... just to escape the ticks. Apparently she knew and I didn't! To this day I am grateful that I had not lost one of my companions to alligators due to my ignorance of the dangers all around my campsites.

Now parked on the beach in Texas, windows all rolled down, listening to the surf crash in, cooled in a wonderful breeze off the gulf coast - exhausted and safe - I decided to sleep overnight in my vehicle. Poisonous snakes eh? We'll see in the morning. Smartening up. We dropped off to a dead sleep immediately.

I was way beyond waking when the sounds of teeth gnashing and snapping pulled me to the surface. The breeze off the gulf had calmed to still. Droves, herds of huge ugly mosquitoes (like the undead in "Pirates ..." movies) were coming in over the windows in clouds, in waves! Windows closed now. Blood seeking drones ... the pups bit and snapped, I swatted ... but nothing stopped these incessant bloodsuckers - too many inside.

I did what always works for me in such situations. I started the car, drove as fast as possible with the heater blasting and windows open to cook or blow them out ... and headed off the beach and toward the exit so I could hit some pavement where I could really go full throttle.

But dead stop. The entry gate was closed for the night :eek:

I drove back to the campsite on the beach and just smacked and smacked ... I smacked them on the windows, on the roof inside, on the door panels, on the pups ... it was horrible ... until the last mosquito was a blood smear. The roof was smeared with blood, the dogs were wide eyed, but could rest finally.

We stayed on and enjoyed our camp for several days ... but I came to wonder if the pups had lost their grip a little. They would stare at the dunes like wolves at prey, yet when I turned to see what caught their interest, there was nothing. Zip. Thus began my familiarity with ghost crabs. Ha.

The youngest, impressionable pup Tess, would never again in her life see me swat an insect without taking cover.

One little experience in a warmly remembered camp trip overall. Would I do it again? You bet :thumbsup:
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Yeah, those Gulf Coast Mosquitoes can come in clouds. I had a similar experience camping at Matagorda. The boyfriend and I had our tent all set up, enjoying the picnic dinner we'd packed, figured when the mosquitoes started biting we'd go inside the tent. I feel one bite, then a second, then look and my legs are covered in mosquitoes. We dive in the tent, zip it up, and just have to wave towels to smash all the ones inside. The tent walls were all spotted with blood. I shined a flashlight, and the lee side of the tent was covered in a blanket of mosquitoes. :eek:

Could be worse. At least they weren't alligators.
 
r8shell said:
Yeah, those Gulf Coast Mosquitoes can come in clouds. I had a similar experience camping at Matagorda. The boyfriend and I had our tent all set up, enjoying the picnic dinner we'd packed, figured when the mosquitoes started biting we'd go inside the tent. I feel one bite, then a second, then look and my legs are covered in mosquitoes. We dive in the tent, zip it up, and just have to wave towels to smash all the ones inside. The tent walls were all spotted with blood. I shined a flashlight, and the lee side of the tent was covered in a blanket of mosquitoes. :eek:
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Mmmm, Psorophora. :D


I was trying to check my car's spark plugs and I couldn't find them. Subaru's weird. Anyway after looking it up on my phone and still not having much luck because Youtube all had a bunch of people talking and never showing the engine, I put the phone into my back pocket and continued the search, after ten more frustrating minutes I put my wrench into my back pocket and sat down hard. Unfortunately, I had to immediately stand up and grab a pair of needle nosed pliers to retrieve the piece of my screen from my left butt cheek. Moral of this story, don't do that. Found the spark plugs though.
 
And another farm story.
As a you teen living on a farm one of my morning duties before school was feeding the Horses. During this particular spring the freeze and thaw cycles had turned the feed lot (Where most all the animals pigs,cows,horsed etc.) into a swamp of mud that smelled of animal waste and rotted hay. Yes it was a stinkin mess!
I had a routine of getting outta bed showering and putting on my school clothes and a pair feed lot smelling Galoshes outside the back door. So I had gotten all ready for school put on the galoshes filled a 5 gallon bucket with Horse feed and trugged into the feed lot on my way to the feed trough. When my galoshes got stuck in the mud. While was struggling to pull them free one of the horses came to the smell of the sweet feed and stuck his muzzle into the bucket and was munching away.
I am trying to get unstuck and keep his head outta the bucket when he head butt's me in the chest. Spuhhhlatttttttt I fall over backwards into the miasma. By the time I freed myself and stood up I as you can imagine was covered in STANK, and had to reshower and dress for school agian. At the time I was P,O,D but it sure is funny thinking about now.
 
When I was 14 my mother ask me to run down to the store and buy her a package of smokes and 2 lotto tickets. She told me I could keep the change for going. Now me being the shifty little delinquent that I was I immediately saw
A way to make an extra buck (literally lol) You see in 1985 there was 2 different lotterys you could play weekly. Atlantic Lotto and Lotto 50. The first costing $1 the second costing 50c I think you can work out just how I planed to make that extra dollar right lol. So when I get back home and give my mother the Lotto 50 tickets she was less then impressed as she threw them in her bag giving me a look that said she knew that I knew darn well what tickets to buy her and I decided I had better get moving before she thought to do something rash like take back her change to teach me a lesson. So off I go to hang out with my buddys. That night was a school dance and what I had been scrounging every dollar I could find for was Beer Money of course. So fast forward to about 10:45pm I am 45 minutes past my curfew I'm half cut and let's not forget the mood I left my dear old mother when we last spoke. I walk in the front door and I see my Mother and my sister eating pizza with my dad. Now this was a bit unusual considering him and my mom had been divorced for 13 years at that time. However there they were all three of them eating pizza and looking at me like they had a big joke they wanted to let me in on. So after grabbing a nice big slice of Pizza I ask my Dad whats up? He says he's driving us all to Moncton in the morning. You see Moncton is the city in New Brunswick (Canada) were we go to collect lotto winnings. Yes it's the truth my mother actually ended up winning $10.000 dollars with one of the tickets I bought her accidentally on purpose to scam an extra dollar for beer lol :eek: needless to say she forgave me completely :D
 
Beyond "liking" - I love this story! :D
 
My former marriage was a silly thing that happened to me
 
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