Back from Road and Cutting Table

Joined
Mar 22, 2002
Messages
15,742
I pulled into the drive about an hour ago now. We got the kids back from the Minister's house. That kind couple had graciously taken them in, so my wife could drive me back from Billings. No one trusts a driver fresh out of general anesthesia. Even with my years of practise....

The nose is under a wrap, but the strip of tissue between nostrils is visible and you can see stitches there. She said she was going to cut and peel something back to my eye balls; I hope it wasn't the whole nose. I think it was just the top, like the hood to a car. I feel OK about it, but earlier had a squeamish moment. I could blame it on the Doctor. She told us about a good place to eat; Texas Roadhouse. But it turns out she doesn't eat red meat. Why? She said after working on bodies all day, and seeing the flesh, which looks pretty much the same as steak, she loses her appetite. And you know the lazer they use? She said people smell just like Barbecue sometimes as it cuts and burns.

We ate at the Roadhouse after my pre-opt conversation with the good Doctor. I had a big steak. It was pretty damn good, too, with mushrooms and grilled onions. Medium rare. I like my noses, er, steaks medium rare.

This Doctor has a policy that the oldest patients have to go last. It's more fair, she said. I'm not sure how she arrives at that. It's best not to examine many of our human decisions for logic. I don't want the hand holding the blade to have any cognitive dissonance as she digs into my face. But anyway, with the rule about no food or liquids 12 hours before surgery, this effectively means unless I wish to wake at 2 AM and eat, I'll finish a normal dinner around 5 PM and check in for surgery in the afternoon of the next day.
So 21 hours later I'm dry, hungry, and waiting. I don't live in Billings so I wander around. Killing time before surgery. That's kind of weird, isn't it?
We went to a bookstore so I'd have something to read.

I stopped reading novels 10 years ago. My first choice was the Audubon Field Guide to Insects and Spiders. But then I found Capstick's Death in the Long Grass, and bought it instead. Now that's what I call great waiting room reading material. Nothing like a vicious Lion attack ripping someone's face off to get you in the mood for nasal reconstruction. It works too; whatever happens, whatever the Doctor does, however it turns out, all must be better than that. You know those damn lions bite through the skull and carry you off, or let you drop and start chowing right there? And if they've ripped into your leg to incapacitate you, they don't mind chowing down while you're still alive. Hey, it's all Barbecue.

I showed up a couple hours early at the hospital . I had no where else to go, and my wife wanted to eat lunch. I politely thought it would be best for her to do this alone. They ushered me in early and hooked the IV and took my clothes away and left me with an institutional foo foo gown. It was cold in the room. I took out the clothes one by one from the white plastic hospital bag and laid them on top of me for warmth. The pre-opt nurse never came back. Perhaps she had other things to do, or perhaps I'd convinced her I was a dangerous loon, I don't know. She didn't seem to understand the humor behind the Capstick book I had in my hand. That's the way it goes sometimes. Especially in hospitals. I've noticed some of the most dogmatic and rigid people on Earth are just naturally drawn to large institutions like hospitals. Just like home. And me? I don't help. I talk much like I write. This can be very charming or very alarming. You're not supposed to do that in public, you know. But the Doctor thinks I'm funny and that's what's important. She's the one with the knife; the only thing the Nurse was responsible for was the extra blanket that I never got a chance to ask her for.

It was strange. I don't think they're supposed to leave you for two hours alone in the room.

This is turning into a short story so I'd better stop. Thought I'd tell you all I geniunely care about you and the consideration you've shown for me. Having a event like a surgery provides an opportunity to appreciate what one has, if you look at it right. Moderating the forum is a priviledge, and being able to write books on for consideration of rejection an ....honor? (Wouldn't it be swell if Daw decided to print it?)

They didn't gork me this surgery and it went well.
I even ordered a single shot .22 at Walmart. The Savage re-issue of the Favorite, it's a light rolling block action. I wasn't going to get it because it's only found in .22 mag these days, but after thinking it over, the idea grew on me. I've never owned a 22 mag. Might be neat. And that Coon might be in for a nasty surprise.

He's taking an chance every time he enters my patio; I just might decide he'd taste like barbecue.


munk
 
Joined
Oct 13, 1999
Messages
1,730
Nice to see you made it through, Munk. I have a feeling that the coon won't be as delighted though. ;)

Bob
 
Joined
Sep 22, 2003
Messages
13,176
Glad to see your're still alive and looking like a saint!

Pics of the nose and the single shot please!!!:D
 
Joined
Nov 15, 2000
Messages
3,708
:thumbup: Great to see you back:) I was hoping you'd give us the details, and I wasn't dissappointed.

That steak/human flesh thing woud've made me queasy too:barf: I actually had that experience after watching a surgery on tv--knee replacement IIRC. I remember that the sawn bone ends looked just like a T-Bone steak. Couldn't eat the stuff for quite awhile.

This may just put me off it for another spell;)

Well, at any rate it's good to have you back:thumbup: :cool:
 

Steely_Gunz

Got the Khukuri fevah
Moderator
Joined
May 9, 2002
Messages
10,484
It's always a pleasure to hear the tales of munk. We're all so very glad you made it back in one piece...or least a couple pieces stitched together. Welcome home.

Jake
 
Joined
Jun 4, 2002
Messages
3,930
Happy and relieved to hear things went well. Hmmm, a fine dinner, and, a new rifle, careful Munk, you'll be volunteering to get whittled on again.;)

Sarge
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2005
Messages
4,106
I think thats essential in dealing with large insitutions . Medical personnel are a rare breed . They have to be objective towards someone who definitely does not want an automaton in charge of their most intimate apparel . (their body) I have the utmost of respect for disciplined professions . I would not could not deal with sick people who often are not at their best .

Even if you are being reasonably co-operative sometimes the person before you was a royal P:I:T:A: . It takes a mature professional to not let this behaviour affect how they treat the next patient .

I am glad Things turned out well for you . Maybe you can get the old Kukuuri out soon and get back some of your own on the local shrubbery . L:O:L
 

Fiddleback

Knifemaker
Moderator
Dealer / Materials Provider
Joined
Oct 19, 2005
Messages
19,590
Glad to have you back Munk. Sounds like there were no unforseen dificulties other than the chill. I'm glad. We'd all hate to loose the voice of reason here at the forum. Remember the first time you see it that, in time, it will look much better. My dad was kinda shocked at first, but once the swelling went down he looked fine. The color has normalized now too, it started out pink like all new scar tissue. It doesn't stand out on him at all any more and they had to rework a pretty large area on him.

Andy
 
Joined
Mar 22, 2002
Messages
15,742
Almost; my freeway onramp sign reads; 'will write for khukuris'...


"Did you get the nose job? Do you look like hollywood now?" Kelsy asked me this morning.

"They wanted 20 bucks extra for that. No way." I told him.


munk
 
Joined
Mar 22, 2002
Messages
15,742
Yes, Thomas Linton is competant and can spell. I'm a loon and write. Makes sense, rite?

(and a loon who will not forget FallingKnife's handle as he has in the past!!! )



munk
 
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