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- Mar 25, 2014
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The Christmas Mule
It were Christmas eve down in Missouri (pronounced Missoura) an' way back then, Bawanna was a little kid. Th snow was comin right on down an they was no way th family was goin to walk down to the Rancid Crik Southern Baptist church bout two miles down th road fer th evening services. Bawanna heard is Dad tell is Ma that ol Caleb North wouldnt be able to slip by an make Santy Claus appearance for Bawannas eight younger brothers an' sisters tonight. Now Bawanna was half growed an he knew which way th stick floated an had already figgered out that Santa was one of them fairy tales that makes you feel warm an fuzzy. Caleb not comin got to botherin him a powerful lot an he got to thinkin.
Musta been about eight oclock when he went to bed. He laid there and tossed an' turned. It botheredim that his Ma was frettin about how disappointed them kidsud be when Santa didnt come. Bawanna rolled over an was starin out th winder. Low an behold, there was Molly and Zeke, is Dads two mules, lookin out th barn back atim. Needless to say, with Bawanna bein th bright boy e is, th light bulb come on.
He got dressed real quiet like an slipped down th stairs even quieter. Is Ma an Pa were headin off to bed. Gotis coat an muffler on and barryed Dads snow boots an grabbed th sack thet had th kids presents in it, an slipped out th back door.
He waded through knee deep snow to git to th barn. Them mules was actually glad to seeim come out. Bawanna got Molly all harnessed up an hopped up oner back an headed fer th door. Long about this time, Bawanna found out that Molly could say foul things, in mule speak, of course, an she letim know in no uncertain terms that she wasnt no way gonna go out in that storm. Bawanna, the diplomat he is, grabbed one of er ears an chomped down hard to giter attention. He did an poor ol Molly took off like a shot. She was movin so fast that she didnt even stop fer th gate. Luckily, it was part open from when Bawanna slipped outside. Bawanna was a bouncin something terrible an a hollerin like they was no tomorry. Molly was headin fer th house as it was makin a pretty good wind break.
Lights come on in is Ma an' Dads bedroom an' heads appeared at th winder. Bawanna was still a yellin an' bouncin around cause Molly would sun-fish bout ever third step. Lucky ferim, Molly come to a stop at the back porch. Guess it were a good thing Bawanna had is Santy Clause hat on cause is kid brothers an' sisters had woke up at th' noise an was a-lookin out th winder in their room, too. Their little eyes got as big as saucers an they was a-squealin Looky! Theres Santa!
Bawanna, he hopped down off Molly an stuck is head down sos they couldnt see who he really was. Hollered HO-HO-HO! a couple of times, an walked in th back door, made a loud fuss a-shakin that toy sack, an sayin in his best deep voice I wunner where them cookies an milker at? He could hear them kids scurry off to bed cause they knowed Santa wouldnt leave no presents if they wasnt asleep. The presents got put under th little tree they had an he was headin fer the door when in stepped Molly. Bawanna had left th door open an Molly felt th warmth comin out onto th porch. Molly werent dumb. No Sir!
Bawanna had to do some fast thinkin. Soe took off is coat an grabbed up them cookies an started feedinem to Molly. Real slow like. Molly liked them cookies an pretty soon she was nuzzlinim fer another one. Now Molly was not exactly a light weight. When she shuffleder feet, th floor shook .all th way to Dads bed room. 'Is Dad hollered What in tarnations goin on down there? real loud like. Bawanna was havin a hard time tryin to gitis coat back on with Molly pushinim pretty hard wantin anuther cookie. E grabbed er halter an headed out the door an she come willin cause a cookie was bein held up in front of her nose. Somehow he managed to git her back into th barn an slip back into th house with no problem an went right to sleep. His good deed was done.
Bawanna woke up hearin his brothers an sisters a-squealin an a-carryin on. Laughter flooded the downstairs. He got dressed an went to th kitchen fer breakfast. Two of his little sisters come a-runnin hollerin Bawanna. Santa Clause was here last night! We all saw him! Theys raindeer tracks outside, too! Come look! They drugim to th door an they peeked outside. Sure enough they was tracks in th snow where them raindeers had been. His Ma then toldim to come git his eggs, so he sat down to th table. His Dad looked up and said: Yes, indeedy, Son. That ol Santy Clause did come last night. He eat the girls cookies they set out, too. His Ma set his plate down an she said, Yes, he was surely here. I even had to clean up raindeer droppins of the floor!
You ever see Bawanna choke on scrambled eggs?...and a Merry Christmas to you, too!
It were Christmas eve down in Missouri (pronounced Missoura) an' way back then, Bawanna was a little kid. Th snow was comin right on down an they was no way th family was goin to walk down to the Rancid Crik Southern Baptist church bout two miles down th road fer th evening services. Bawanna heard is Dad tell is Ma that ol Caleb North wouldnt be able to slip by an make Santy Claus appearance for Bawannas eight younger brothers an' sisters tonight. Now Bawanna was half growed an he knew which way th stick floated an had already figgered out that Santa was one of them fairy tales that makes you feel warm an fuzzy. Caleb not comin got to botherin him a powerful lot an he got to thinkin.
Musta been about eight oclock when he went to bed. He laid there and tossed an' turned. It botheredim that his Ma was frettin about how disappointed them kidsud be when Santa didnt come. Bawanna rolled over an was starin out th winder. Low an behold, there was Molly and Zeke, is Dads two mules, lookin out th barn back atim. Needless to say, with Bawanna bein th bright boy e is, th light bulb come on.
He got dressed real quiet like an slipped down th stairs even quieter. Is Ma an Pa were headin off to bed. Gotis coat an muffler on and barryed Dads snow boots an grabbed th sack thet had th kids presents in it, an slipped out th back door.
He waded through knee deep snow to git to th barn. Them mules was actually glad to seeim come out. Bawanna got Molly all harnessed up an hopped up oner back an headed fer th door. Long about this time, Bawanna found out that Molly could say foul things, in mule speak, of course, an she letim know in no uncertain terms that she wasnt no way gonna go out in that storm. Bawanna, the diplomat he is, grabbed one of er ears an chomped down hard to giter attention. He did an poor ol Molly took off like a shot. She was movin so fast that she didnt even stop fer th gate. Luckily, it was part open from when Bawanna slipped outside. Bawanna was a bouncin something terrible an a hollerin like they was no tomorry. Molly was headin fer th house as it was makin a pretty good wind break.
Lights come on in is Ma an' Dads bedroom an' heads appeared at th winder. Bawanna was still a yellin an' bouncin around cause Molly would sun-fish bout ever third step. Lucky ferim, Molly come to a stop at the back porch. Guess it were a good thing Bawanna had is Santy Clause hat on cause is kid brothers an' sisters had woke up at th' noise an was a-lookin out th winder in their room, too. Their little eyes got as big as saucers an they was a-squealin Looky! Theres Santa!
Bawanna, he hopped down off Molly an stuck is head down sos they couldnt see who he really was. Hollered HO-HO-HO! a couple of times, an walked in th back door, made a loud fuss a-shakin that toy sack, an sayin in his best deep voice I wunner where them cookies an milker at? He could hear them kids scurry off to bed cause they knowed Santa wouldnt leave no presents if they wasnt asleep. The presents got put under th little tree they had an he was headin fer the door when in stepped Molly. Bawanna had left th door open an Molly felt th warmth comin out onto th porch. Molly werent dumb. No Sir!
Bawanna had to do some fast thinkin. Soe took off is coat an grabbed up them cookies an started feedinem to Molly. Real slow like. Molly liked them cookies an pretty soon she was nuzzlinim fer another one. Now Molly was not exactly a light weight. When she shuffleder feet, th floor shook .all th way to Dads bed room. 'Is Dad hollered What in tarnations goin on down there? real loud like. Bawanna was havin a hard time tryin to gitis coat back on with Molly pushinim pretty hard wantin anuther cookie. E grabbed er halter an headed out the door an she come willin cause a cookie was bein held up in front of her nose. Somehow he managed to git her back into th barn an slip back into th house with no problem an went right to sleep. His good deed was done.
Bawanna woke up hearin his brothers an sisters a-squealin an a-carryin on. Laughter flooded the downstairs. He got dressed an went to th kitchen fer breakfast. Two of his little sisters come a-runnin hollerin Bawanna. Santa Clause was here last night! We all saw him! Theys raindeer tracks outside, too! Come look! They drugim to th door an they peeked outside. Sure enough they was tracks in th snow where them raindeers had been. His Ma then toldim to come git his eggs, so he sat down to th table. His Dad looked up and said: Yes, indeedy, Son. That ol Santy Clause did come last night. He eat the girls cookies they set out, too. His Ma set his plate down an she said, Yes, he was surely here. I even had to clean up raindeer droppins of the floor!
You ever see Bawanna choke on scrambled eggs?...and a Merry Christmas to you, too!