Several years ago, a woman moved into her dream house maybe a mile or so from where I lived at the time. She was so excited to be living just outside of the city with room for a horse and such... so tranquil, so idyllic. The first morning, she was awakened by the sound of high-caliber and full-automatic gun fire! Her peaceful home was under attack!... or so it seemed. This is how she found out that the big empty expanse over the fence behind her house was, in fact, the Tri-County Gun Club... and has been for sixty or more years. She sued and tried to have the Gun Club shut down. The court ruled against her saying that it was her responsibility to ascertain what was beyond the fence and that she had not exercised "due diligence" when she bought the house.
I have absolutely ZERO sympathy for her and I have absolutely ZERO sympathy for people who buy a house and are then surprised to find out that there's a HOA with rules. Buyer beware! It is your responsibility to exercised "due diligence" when you buy a house. If you don't want a HOA with rules, then it is up to you to ascertain if the house you're looking at has one or not. Usually, there's a paper that you have to sign at closing in which you acknowledge that there's a HOA with rules. Many HOAs insist that their exisitance be disclosed in the real estate listing for houses within their association. A good realtor will point this out too.
HOAs come in all sizes and shapes. Some are neighborhood Nazis regulating everything and demanding absolute conformity. There's such a neighborhood that I pass by on the way to my Church. It's called Steptoe Estates or some such thing. I call it Stepford Estates. (To call those little houses "estates" is a laugh anyway.) That neighborhood has a very strict HOA. They regulate virtually every aspect of the external appearance of your house, especially the front.
My HOA, on the other hand, has two typed pages of rules. Most of them concern things like car parts on the front lawn. Our rules are few, simple, and things that most people would do out of common courtesy. A lot of them have to do with parking and a common desire not to have a lot of cars parked on the streets. Every house has to have a two-car garage and off-street parking for two more cars. You are not allowed, in my neighborhood, to heat your garage. Heated garages tend to turn into workshops and even family rooms and the cars that would otherwise park in them end up on the street. Last year, we gave permission to allow one guy to heat one of his three garage stalls. He had to build a wall internally so that only one would be heated, and this was only allowed because he had three. He needed the heated space because his fancy sports car doesn't start well in the bitter Oregon winter cold. I got a nice bottle of wine from my neighbor across the street last year when he came over to ask me to sign off on him converting one of his three garages to an office. Again, since he has three, it is permissible to covert one but only if all adjoining neighbors agree. We've only had one problem in the two years I've lived here, a giant RV that got parked in the street in front of one house and just sat there for weeks. You're only allowed on-street parking of an RV for three days.
I like my HOA and the few rules we have. It keeps the neighborhood nice and desirable and the property values high. Basically, the 70-something homes in Crestview Hights II have decided and agreed that we will live together according to this set of simple rules. People who don't like those rules don't have to live here. If they want more order and control -- and some people do -- they can go to Stepford Estates. And if they want less, there are plenty of neighborhoods that have no HOA. Every person can decide how he wants to live.
If you decide to buy an house with an HOA, then expect to follow the rules because by buying that house you are deciding and agreeing that you will live together according to the rules.
Now, with that said, if you do decide to buy a house in an HOA neighborhood, absolutely get on the Board (in most HOAs, the sole qualification to be elected to the Board is a pulse and having, at one time, mumbled about being willing) or at least attend the meetings.