Knife jokes

W

Waldamir

Joined
Jun 30, 2012
Messages
287
Lets get some jokes going that only knife collectors would understand. I had one a minute ago. if i remember it ill post it :D
 
If I paint it black, does that make it Tactical?

Maybe not a joke in the usual sense...
 
Not really a joke, but something I thought was interesting...

What is this knife?

images


Why it is the FG FFG VG10 G10 endura of course, quite a mouthful
 
This just happend to me . Thought it was funny . I have a knife for trade and someone in the forum send me An offer and he say the knife with a few bucks . I reply what kind of bucks . He says 15 bucks . I reply I thought you meant Buck knives .
 
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The quintessential "why do you have a knife?" Or in the case of an assisted opener "oh..my...god.....he has a switchblade"
 
How many knives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Nine.

An SAK in case I need to tighten screws on the light fixture, and the screwdriver is, like, three feet away, man.
A tactical folder in my RFP in case I get mugged while changing the light bulb.
A tactical folder in my LFP in case the mugger shows up while I am screwing the light bulb in with my right hand.
A fixed blade mounted horizontally, small of back, in case there are two muggers.
A seven inch fixed blade in drawpoint in case one of the muggers is a mountain lion.
A nine inch chopper in case I have to chop down the redwood that the mountain lion was hiding in to access the light fixture.
A ceramic blade in case I have to cut through live wires wrapped around the redwood.
A traditional slipjoint to cut open the plastic light bulb packaging while complaining about how lazy and unresourceful the young ones are these days.
A custom folder in a lambskin pouch sheath to keep in my pocket and not touch while I change the light bulb.
 
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hardheart said:
How many knives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Nine.

An SAK in case I need to tighten screws on the light fixture, and the screwdriver is, like, three feet away, man.
A tactical folder in my RFP in case I get mugged while changing the light bulb.
A tactical folder in my LFP in case the mugger shows up while I am screwing the light bulb in with my right hand.
A fixed blade mounted horizontally, small of back, in case there are two muggers.
A seven inch fixed blade in drawpoint in case one of the muggers is a mountain lion.
A nine inch chopper in case I have to chop down the redwood that the mountain lion was hiding in to access the light fixture.
A ceramic blade in case I have to cut through live wires wrapped around the redwood.
A traditional slipjoint to cut open the plastic light bulb packaging while complaining about how lazy and unresourceful the young ones are these days.
A custom folder in a lambskin pouch sheath to keep in my pocket and not touch while I change the light bulb.
Click to expand...

Actually i think it's about 14.....don't ask me why it's just a stab in the dark.
 
Why did the knife buy a snazzy new suit?

He wanted to look sharp...

Okay, lame as hell, but it's all I could come up with on the spur of the moment. :D
 
9blades said:
The quintessential "why do you have a knife?" Or in the case of an assisted opener "oh..my...god.....he has a switchblade"
Click to expand...
Too funny b/c I had someone say that to me tonight. We had been standing and talking multi-tools and knives, discussing Gerber and Leatherman etc. He asked about pocket knives & laws in Illinois and I deployed my Super Commander (which is waved) from my back pocket and the quick reply was, "Is that a switchblade?" So tonight I got a chance to explain the wave feature. Guess you had to be there.....
 
Why did the knife cross the road?













So it could baton a human through a log......









Sorry, lemme just grab my coat and hat.....








:D

Moose
 
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