Bonjour all,
Been a long time I posted anything since I was travelling extensively but I am back...with some interesting news!
Some of you might remember that back a few months ago, my 20" Sirupati took a separate way when seen on the wall of my office by a visiting SF friend {let's call him Bob}. Knowing that he was on his way to a place where cold nights and no-so nice people are presently causing a lot of trouble, I could not do anything but avoid to leave him "naked". I (tearfully) said goodbye to my Sirupati, hoping the Gods will some days reward my gesture.
Back to a few days ago...
I got a phone call from a friendly voice [Bob] asking me to meet him in DC for lunch. He was in town for a few days. Being the cheap goat that I am, I never turn down a free lunch even if the train fare cost more than the meal. I met with Bob, not so tan after all, but really please that the weather in DC that day was 42 C.
-"Feels like summer to me compare to where I just came from ! By the way, Pierre let me tell you about your, I mean, my blade and how we learned to make friends"
Seems like Bob was enjoying his vacation and doing some side road touring when he came upon a known hornets' nest. (9 big ones to be honest). Being the good patriot that Bob is, he would have felt guilty to waste all the taxpayers' money spent on his training, considering especially that said hornets were trying really hard to permanently sting him and his 2 other tourists friends. With two of them injured, they still managed to dispatch to a friendlier place 7 of the bugs. Now this is where technology and simplicity meet. Bob's hornet dispatching tool being made in USA has a lot of small moving FRAGILE parts that tend to NOT like dirt, cold weather etc. While he can cut the mustache of a flea on a yack' butt at 600 yards, there are times when an AK 74 (field strip in 6 basic parts)looks like a wonder of German enginering!
"Here I am with that %$#^#$%@ piece of @%#$& trying to fix it when the two last bugs come rushing at me. One decide to leave for a friendlier place after my driver manage to give him a third eye but he is out of ammo and tourist 2 is to far to reach and temporarily out of commission. Looks like Bubba in a rush to get himself a yankee forgot to remove the safety or for whatever reasons the Gods are smiling on me that day. In despair, Bubba throw away his weapon and pull out what looks like a vey sharp toohpick.
Flashback to Crocodile Dundee II [for those of us who saw the movie] "Thats not a knife, mate, THAT is a knife!"
Turns out that Bubba is either not a big Paul Hogan's fan or that he was not allowed to see the movie till the end of the scene. Standing close by my side is your, euuuhh, MY sirupati who is dying to take a fresh breath of cold moutain air. I therefor oblige. Bubba's eyes go from sneaky and mean to "Holy cow, I 've got a problem". Yet Bubba rushes me trying to give me the benefit of an unwanted button hole. A kiss from the (MY) blade on his right arm reminds him 21 stiches later that I get very offended by unwanted tailoring. Bubba is now really upset....and bloody, yet picks up the toothpick from the ground with his other hand and rushes me again. Metal sparks, clinging and toothpick blade neatly broken in 1/2 now rests on the grounds of those peacefull moutains. Bubba jumps sideways to grab a fallen gun, hoping to convince me that I REALLY need a butthon hole in my stomach but doing so for a split second exposes his right calf muscle. Ouch! Siru bites him really hard to the bone and sentence him to stay in the same place until I secure him.
Siru 2, Yankees 9 (7+2) Hornets 0.
Medic will gracefully add another 19 stiches to his leg (I believe he will be lucky if he just limps forever)while cursing me for additional unneeded work!
Back to camp. Visit from the boss.
-"What the hell did you use on that poor fellow. Do you realize what @#^%& we could be in if a reporter gets wind of this. I can see headlines " Dirty Yankees provides friendly locals with HALAL meat" What the hell where you thinking??? I want a full report...NOW"
-"Yes Sir. Well you see..... Blah Blah Blah....This is when Siru came to our rescue and managed to get us all out of trouble, SIR"
- " Well finally a local that can fight without screwing up. Where is the "Sea rough party" now?
-"Right here, SIR" and Bob proceed to pull out the blade again.
-"what in Gemini Cricket's smashing jockstraps is THAT???"
- "THAT, SIR, IS THE RESULT OF HUNDRED YEARS OF CRAFTMANSHIP AND A FEW HOURS OF PRIDE. THAT,SIR,IS ALSO WHY I LIKE A US CITIZEN NAMED PIERRE VERY MUCH RIGHT NOW".
The look on the officer's face was really worth it, I was told
_ "Get rid of it right away.... No wait... Just make sure it does not see a camera from too close"
_ "YEEESSSSSSSS SIIIIRRRR"
- "euuuhhhhhh Bob, do you know where I can get me one of these???"
_ I'll be happy to check, Sir,........ but it's gonna cost you"
I have now unlimited beer credit for life! Thank you Uncle Bill
======================================================================
A couple of points:
-Name, places have been changed to protect Bob and his friends, however the story is REAL!
-The language is as close as possible from my recollection of Bob's story. Keep in mind that Bob does not have a PHD in English litterature but he (we) had (quite) a few beers and always displays a sick sense of Humor.
_ Knowing that our readerships includes some young ones,I tried to censure myself as much as possible. I will however defer to Uncle Bill's best judgement.
_ Finally and for the records, Bob is not some psycho but a dedicated soldier doing his job as ordered. He indicated that he had no other choices but to let "Siru" do his job that way. He also expressed sincere regrets that Bubba did not react like in the movie and dropped the matter there and then.
Been a long time I posted anything since I was travelling extensively but I am back...with some interesting news!
Some of you might remember that back a few months ago, my 20" Sirupati took a separate way when seen on the wall of my office by a visiting SF friend {let's call him Bob}. Knowing that he was on his way to a place where cold nights and no-so nice people are presently causing a lot of trouble, I could not do anything but avoid to leave him "naked". I (tearfully) said goodbye to my Sirupati, hoping the Gods will some days reward my gesture.
Back to a few days ago...
I got a phone call from a friendly voice [Bob] asking me to meet him in DC for lunch. He was in town for a few days. Being the cheap goat that I am, I never turn down a free lunch even if the train fare cost more than the meal. I met with Bob, not so tan after all, but really please that the weather in DC that day was 42 C.
-"Feels like summer to me compare to where I just came from ! By the way, Pierre let me tell you about your, I mean, my blade and how we learned to make friends"
Seems like Bob was enjoying his vacation and doing some side road touring when he came upon a known hornets' nest. (9 big ones to be honest). Being the good patriot that Bob is, he would have felt guilty to waste all the taxpayers' money spent on his training, considering especially that said hornets were trying really hard to permanently sting him and his 2 other tourists friends. With two of them injured, they still managed to dispatch to a friendlier place 7 of the bugs. Now this is where technology and simplicity meet. Bob's hornet dispatching tool being made in USA has a lot of small moving FRAGILE parts that tend to NOT like dirt, cold weather etc. While he can cut the mustache of a flea on a yack' butt at 600 yards, there are times when an AK 74 (field strip in 6 basic parts)looks like a wonder of German enginering!
"Here I am with that %$#^#$%@ piece of @%#$& trying to fix it when the two last bugs come rushing at me. One decide to leave for a friendlier place after my driver manage to give him a third eye but he is out of ammo and tourist 2 is to far to reach and temporarily out of commission. Looks like Bubba in a rush to get himself a yankee forgot to remove the safety or for whatever reasons the Gods are smiling on me that day. In despair, Bubba throw away his weapon and pull out what looks like a vey sharp toohpick.
Flashback to Crocodile Dundee II [for those of us who saw the movie] "Thats not a knife, mate, THAT is a knife!"
Turns out that Bubba is either not a big Paul Hogan's fan or that he was not allowed to see the movie till the end of the scene. Standing close by my side is your, euuuhh, MY sirupati who is dying to take a fresh breath of cold moutain air. I therefor oblige. Bubba's eyes go from sneaky and mean to "Holy cow, I 've got a problem". Yet Bubba rushes me trying to give me the benefit of an unwanted button hole. A kiss from the (MY) blade on his right arm reminds him 21 stiches later that I get very offended by unwanted tailoring. Bubba is now really upset....and bloody, yet picks up the toothpick from the ground with his other hand and rushes me again. Metal sparks, clinging and toothpick blade neatly broken in 1/2 now rests on the grounds of those peacefull moutains. Bubba jumps sideways to grab a fallen gun, hoping to convince me that I REALLY need a butthon hole in my stomach but doing so for a split second exposes his right calf muscle. Ouch! Siru bites him really hard to the bone and sentence him to stay in the same place until I secure him.
Siru 2, Yankees 9 (7+2) Hornets 0.
Medic will gracefully add another 19 stiches to his leg (I believe he will be lucky if he just limps forever)while cursing me for additional unneeded work!
Back to camp. Visit from the boss.
-"What the hell did you use on that poor fellow. Do you realize what @#^%& we could be in if a reporter gets wind of this. I can see headlines " Dirty Yankees provides friendly locals with HALAL meat" What the hell where you thinking??? I want a full report...NOW"
-"Yes Sir. Well you see..... Blah Blah Blah....This is when Siru came to our rescue and managed to get us all out of trouble, SIR"
- " Well finally a local that can fight without screwing up. Where is the "Sea rough party" now?
-"Right here, SIR" and Bob proceed to pull out the blade again.
-"what in Gemini Cricket's smashing jockstraps is THAT???"
- "THAT, SIR, IS THE RESULT OF HUNDRED YEARS OF CRAFTMANSHIP AND A FEW HOURS OF PRIDE. THAT,SIR,IS ALSO WHY I LIKE A US CITIZEN NAMED PIERRE VERY MUCH RIGHT NOW".
The look on the officer's face was really worth it, I was told
_ "Get rid of it right away.... No wait... Just make sure it does not see a camera from too close"
_ "YEEESSSSSSSS SIIIIRRRR"
- "euuuhhhhhh Bob, do you know where I can get me one of these???"
_ I'll be happy to check, Sir,........ but it's gonna cost you"
I have now unlimited beer credit for life! Thank you Uncle Bill
======================================================================
A couple of points:
-Name, places have been changed to protect Bob and his friends, however the story is REAL!
-The language is as close as possible from my recollection of Bob's story. Keep in mind that Bob does not have a PHD in English litterature but he (we) had (quite) a few beers and always displays a sick sense of Humor.
_ Knowing that our readerships includes some young ones,I tried to censure myself as much as possible. I will however defer to Uncle Bill's best judgement.
_ Finally and for the records, Bob is not some psycho but a dedicated soldier doing his job as ordered. He indicated that he had no other choices but to let "Siru" do his job that way. He also expressed sincere regrets that Bubba did not react like in the movie and dropped the matter there and then.
