What is Oosic?

There is a really bad joke going around about oosic. Supposedly, if oosic is the handle on a small bird and trout knife, and somebody rubs it enough, it turns into a bowie! :rolleyes: :D
 
Oosic usually is found washed up on shore or uncovered after a storm in Alaska, though it is found elsewhere in the world also.

It is usually not found intact [ whole ]but in broken pieces of various sizes. It comes in varying shades and colors dependant on where it has been buried and the mineral contents of in that area which have entered and changed the original coloring which is a creamy beige normally.

Intact pieces are rare and worth big bucks.

I have an intact piece thats 21 1/2" long and 3" in diameter at one end. It is one of the biggest intact oosics known to exist in the US.
It was traded for a mini14 to a mountain man in Alaska about 20 years ago. He got it from an indiginous eskimo in the area sometime before that.

The natives in Alaska have used intact oosic found on the shores for hundreds of years to beat/kill seals when they come up for air. It has also been used as a war club/weapon by the natives but not in recent times.

I have been offered big money for my intact piece from colectors of the oosics. I initially was planning on having it slabbed for knife handles but it is too rare intact to break it up/saw it into slabs.

Hope that helps you sir.

Brownie
 
Originally posted by brownie0486
I have an intact piece thats 21 1/2" long and 3" in diameter at one end.
Click to expand...

Wow! Apparently size really does matter when you're a walrus. :)

- Mark
 
Strange things have been done in the Midnight Sun
and the story books are full ...
But the strangest tale concerns the male,
magnificent walrus bull!

I know it's rude, quite common and crude,
perhaps it is grossly unkind;
But with first glance at least, this bewhiskered beast,
is as ugly in front as behind.

Look once again, take a second look
then you'll see he's not ugly or vile
There's a hint of a grin, in that blubbery chin
and the eyes have a sly secret smile.

How can this be, this clandestine glee
that exudes from the walrus like music?
He knows, there inside, beneath blubber and hide
lies a splendid contrivance - the Oosik!

"Oosik" you say, and quite well you may,
I'll explain if you keep it between us;
In the simplest truth, though rather uncouth,
"Oosik" is, in fact, his penis!

Now the size alone of this walrus bone
would indeed arouse envious thinking.
It is also a fact, documented and backed,
there is never a softening or shrinking!

This, then, is why the smile is so sly,
the walrus is rightfully proud.
Though the climate is frigid, the walrus is rigid,
pray, why, is not man so endowed?

Added to this, is a smile you might miss --
though the bull is entitled to bow --
The one to out-smile our bull by a mile
is the satisfied walrus cow!
 
Friend emailed it to me some time ago. Amazing, all the great, anonymous stuff on the web.

I'm reminded of an old sex education film when I was in school which featured kangaroos. Left all the guys feelin' pretty inadequate, and the girls with unreasonable expectations. Guess we should have been thankful it wasn't walruses. :)
 
Yeah, and it's not a good idea to let your Wife take the Grandbaby to the Zoo and walk by the Zebra cage either! ;)

Talk about big expectations and feeling inadequate! :D
 
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