As Per Danelle's "Taboo Discussion" Request:

Vampire Gerbil

Vampire Gerbil

Gone, but not forgotten. RIP Dave
Platinum Member
Joined
Sep 21, 1999
Messages
1,819
I dunno, maybe this is tabbo, maybe it ain't...
But I was adopted when I was 5.5 months old.
I found my natural family when I was 24.
I stayed at my natural mother's house.
After drinking and smoking weed with her, I decided to go to bed.
She tucked me in, leaned over and kissed me on the lips.. and stayed there a bit too long, if ya ask me.
Somehow I managed to convey the message that I wasn't interested and off she went.
I also met one of my brothers.
He's gay. Very gay.
I have an open mind and didn't judge him or anything... but we went to a bar once and got all drunk... he started holding my hand... I thought, "OK, he needs compassion" as he was telling me his life's troubles and crying his eyes out.
Well, this hand holding turned into him kissing, then licking my hand.
I managed to retrieve my hand and nothing further was said.
Then I met my sister.
WHOA!
Look!
family35.jpg

Well, the family hornyness gene kicked in and man, did I wanna BOFF HER!!!
I didn't.. mainly cuz she wasn't giving off the proper signals (i.e., she started screaming about incestuous rape!)
Just kidding about the i.e., etc.
Still, I woulda schtupped her happily, numerous times!

It's been 18 years since having any contact with my "family" members. My sex life's been fairly normal since then... ok, that's a lie. I've had weirder sex than you can imagine! But with people who weren't related to me, and people who didn't have penises.

Anyhow, finally reaching the "taboo" aspect of this post...
I once jerked off while driving home.

Thank you.... I am now preparing to leave for work, then NJ.

Hopelessly romantic,
I remain,
VG
 
Well, it wasn't "they" who gave me up.
It was my natural mother.
"Daddy" and her were married.
He screwed her, she got pregnant.
Daddy left, Mommy stuck her head in the oven, lived, Bob was born, messed up, Mommy gave Bob up for adoption, Daddy came back, got mommy pregnant, daddy left, mommy decided that the oven trick was an urban legend, Bill was born, Bill was given up for adoption, daddy came back, mommy got pregnant, Harvey was born, Harvey was given up for adoption, daddy came back, mommy got pregnant, I, Vampire Gerbil was born, I, Vampire Gerbil was given up for adoption.
Mommy began to see a pattern here and decided that daddy should not be allowed back.
(Gotta respect a woman with convictions, no?)

Anyhow, as for my sister... she was from mommy's previous "relationship", so she was just my half sister.
Since I only wanted to screw her lower half, I feel as if that ain't too bad.
Of course, I woulda gladly accepted head from her as well... but I woulda justified that by pretending it was ME blowing myself.

Wondering just how the hell I grew up wo be so frikkin' plain and normal,
I remain,
VG
 
Originally posted by Vampire Gerbil
[B
Wondering just how the hell I grew up wo be so frikkin' plain and normal,
[/B]
Click to expand...

Yeah, it's a wonder.
 
Phil, first off, you messed up the code thingy... since this is a place that I don't wanna ever dit, I shall leave your codal faux paux (faw-paw for the iliterate-French Folks) alone.

It is inDEED a wonder, yes.
I owe it all to absolutely fantastic parents (the ones that adopted me) for becoming much saner than the rest of my family bush.
I wasn't molested, abused, beaten or exploited at all... One screwy thing to add tho....
Before Mommy Weirdest gave me up, she thought she'd cover my bases by having me baptized as an Episcopalian.
The folks that adopted me are Jewish, and they thought they'd cover my bases by having me go to 5 years of Hebrew School, climaxing (giggle-GIGGLE!! with my Bar Mitzvah.
I now consider myself to be a fanatically religious zealot who don't subscribe to any denomination.... I admit belonging to a religious cult at one time, The Church Of The Screaming Testicle, but I just formed that to get tax exempt status.. which sorta worked... but the militant lesbians kept setting fire to my balls.
Anyhow, glad that I explained my normality and you understood.

Wirebender, I was pretty speechless too for a few years... then I started "opening up", and everything went to hell from there.
Now I can't shuddup even if ya paid me.
By the way, at work, I have taken to identifying myself on the radio by saying, "Base, it is I, the Great and Powerful {my call sign}"

It's gotten to the point that everyone just says "Go ahead.."
I DO remember making my boss spit coffee outta his mouth the other day when I cracked a joke... but damned if I can remember what I said...
Probably asked for a raise or something...
But I got a kick outta seeing his anquish at the brown stain on his crotch during the aftermath.

Lifter, you probably ain't my original daddy.
From what I understand, this genius went into a bar in a Black section of Philadelphia, got himself all drunk, and his last recorded words were, "Get me a clean glass, nigger".
He got shot dead when he left the place.
I ain't making this up... guy had a lotta class, huh?

Anyhow, I'll just call you Aunt Wally, as she used to have many tattoos and belched flames, just like you do.

Off to gather my Celebrity Scabs for Show and Tell at a NJ Diner,
I remain,
VG
 
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