Bawanna's Mule Story

Old man Moss carried the mail on'is mule in these parts for years. Some of our neighbors lived so fer back that only a one lane dirt foot path took you to their place. Caleb Wilson lived inna one room converted chicken coop back there and got'is mail just twice a week, weather permitting. Had ever thing he needed inside, though. In the Summer time, he could raise the whole west end of his "cabin" and prop it up with two hedge posts and make'im a pretty nice little porch. That's where old man Moss would find'im as he come ridin' up on'is dirty lookin' little white jenny, Lucille. Lucille had carried that leather mail sack so long that the hair on'er side grew in a funny pattern. Had a nice disposition and was pretty patient. Now cousin Martin was carryin' a package wrapped in brown paper to Caleb and it was pretty big. Martin wanted to git rid of it in a hurry and was makin' a bee line to the Wilson shack. Whachu got there, Martin? I betcha it's my new shavin' mirror frum Monkey Wards! Martin didn't say nothing, but watched Caleb unwrap it. Sure enough, it was a new mirror. Round and onna bail so's it could be flipped side fer side. One side magnified and the other was just regular size. Wislon stood there and smiled. His eyes was goin' bad. Had them cataracts I heard tell.

People back then had stands outside or on the porch for wash pans. Was common to have to worsh your hands before you come in the house. It was polite manners, you know. Caleb took that mirror and set it on the worsh stand and stood there admiring it. Martin told Caleb that it was a nice mirror and it was a good idea to git'im one. 'Bout then Lucille noticed the sun a shinin' off the mirror and turned'er head to look see what it was. Curiosity aroused, she walked over and stuck her muzzle over ol' Moss's shoulder. Her head did a little jerk and she pushed agin Moss's back tryin' to git a closer look. She got'er nose up to the mirror and took a big sniff, cocked'er haid, and took another sniff. She shook'er head real quick like she was shuckin' a pesky fly and eye-balled that mirror alookin' at it side ways.

Old man Moss had to finish the mail route so he hoisted'imself up inta the saddle and told Caleb he'd see'im come Friday. He pulled the reins off to the left to turn Lucille and give'er a little heel in the ribs. Lucille turned like she was headin' fer the pathway, but she just kept on turnin'--back 'round to that mirror. Had to have another look at it. Ol' Wilson thought that was pretty funny and laughed. Moss tugged the reins again and Lucille spun to the left, but back to that mirror once again! She didn't want to leave that mirror! After some trials and tribulations, Wilson had to take the mirror inta the shack and drop'is porch roof so Lucille couldn't see it. She then headed down the path towards Browning.

Cousin Martin thought long and hard on what had happened upta Wilson's homestead and figured out a plan. Had'is brother, Granville, go inta town. Had a auction house there. Found a lady's cheap little dresser that had a large mirror on it. Bought it and brought it back to the house. They took that mirror off and hung it in Lucille's little stall out to the shed. When she wasn't haulin' the mail, she'd stand there a lookin' inta that mirror fer hours on end. Granville said he never seen the like and Martin answered that he hadn't either, but'e figured Lucille was lonesome fer'er own kind. The Moss family just had the one jenny on the place, you know. Now that was a long time ago, but I'll bet you a chew off'n my black Kentucky twist chewin' tobacco that were Lucille still alive, you'd find'er still lookin' inta that mirror today.
 
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one test for intelligence in animals is the ability to recognise themselves in a mirror. most animals do not, many ignore the mirror, many see a rival in the mirror and will attack or run from it.

most primates will act like that too. only humans, bonobo chimps, elephants and porpoises recognise themselves.

if you put a mark on them, like a head ribbon or a sticky spot, those will notice it when looking in a mirror and attempt thereafter to remove the item.

most dogs do not recognise themselves in the mirror. some do.

i had a greyhound that would. he also would recognise me in the mirror. i had a full length mirror on the wall next to the computer desk. he'd lay on the spare bed behind me & watch me , not directly at my back,but my reflection in the mirror. a few times he'd come sit by me (he could also 'sit' properly - something most greyhounds can't do) and watch me in the mirror. i'd move my hand behind his head where he could only see it in the mirror & try to grab his collar. he always knew i was doing it & duck away.

if i tried the same thing without the mirror, i could catch him. he knew it was himself in the mirror.

my female greyhound however ignored the mirror or images in it, as well as on the tv. blue, my male one, if there was a cat meowing on tv would look behind the TV to see where the cat was.

of course some humans can't look at themselves in a mirror. and vampires. some spend way too much time looking at themselves.
 
kronckew said:
one test for intelligence in animals is the ability to recognise themselves in a mirror. most animals do not, many ignore the mirror, many see a rival in the mirror and will attack or run from it.

most primates will act like that too. only humans, bonobo chimps, elephants and porpoises recognise themselves.

if you put a mark on them, like a head ribbon or a sticky spot, those will notice it when looking in a mirror and attempt thereafter to remove the item.

most dogs do not recognise themselves in the mirror. some do.

i had a greyhound that would. he also would recognise me in the mirror. i had a full length mirror on the wall next to the computer desk. he'd lay on the spare bed behind me & watch me , not directly at my back,but my reflection in the mirror. a few times he'd come sit by me (he could also 'sit' properly - something most greyhounds can't do) and watch me in the mirror. i'd move my hand behind his head where he could only see it in the mirror & try to grab his collar. he always knew i was doing it & duck away.

if i tried the same thing without the mirror, i could catch him. he knew it was himself in the mirror.

my female greyhound however ignored the mirror or images in it, as well as on the tv. blue, my male one, if there was a cat meowing on tv would look behind the TV to see where the cat was.

of course some humans can't look at themselves in a mirror. and vampires. some spend way too much time looking at themselves.
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A lot of "experts" put limitations on our animals. Some say our cats and dogs don't have souls... HUH! They are fools who never took the time to connect with another living thing other than human. I had a male German Shepard that could also recognize his reflection in a mirror. No one believed me and I am sure a "expert" would say we are mistaken. Animals are so much more in tune to the world around them than we give them credit for.

I have one Maine Coon cat that watches Big Cat Diaries with me every Saturday morning. He knows its Saturday morning because I don't get up for work. He wakes me up at just the right time and we go on the couch and watch it EVERY SINGLE SATURDAY! He never forgets and always reminds me. He sits and watches the animals on tv, he loves watching them stalk prey. He makes these weird chirps and crackling sounds out of his mouth.
 
You mean that guy who watches me shave every morning is actually me?? Dang. I keep attacking him but his skin is as hard as glass.
 
This thread continues to deliver excellent reads. So glad I was curious about Bawanna's mule story, this turned solid gold :), thanks to a few distinguished story-tellers. Thank you, Gentlemen.
 
Was pullin' hickory stumps one day with the mules. The '23 John Deere tractor had a broken crank. We'd been at it all mornin' and had three, maybe four more to go when Jackson, over on the hill East of us rode up on'is mule Samuel. Now the Jacksons were the snobs of all the folk who lived out our way and they weren't liked really, but were tolerated. We shore didn't want to go to Hell for being unneighborly. They even had TWO lanes to their house. One for us commoners and one for their fancy brougham and four. Now Samuel was a tall'un. Was bought outta Paducah, Kentucky a couple years back. He was an uppity snob just like'is master sittin' on'is back. Samuel's hooves were shined up with the real good Esquire shoe polish until they shone like Grandpa's gold teeth when he'd been a-drinkin'. Almost glow in the dark. Them hooves was as black and clean as Jackson's shirt he was wearin'. Jackson sat up there and watched us for a while and made no offer to help or assist any at all. Say "Looks like yew boys gonna be plumb tuckered out come supper." My old man didn't say nothin' but Grandpa says "Already are. Could use another mule on the chains. Only got a few more to go." "Oh, cain't do thet, Henry. Got my good clothes on and Samuel's cleaned up, too. Mebbe tomorrer."

My Grandpa had been discharged outta the Army a year after WWI was over from being shot up by a German machine gun and then mustard gassed while he was a-layin' in the shell crater. Had to stay in some hospital in France that extry time. 100% disabled according to the VA. Was pretty sad. Grandpa was a real small man and'is good boy attitude was just as small. AND! Grandpa had a bottle stuck in'is bibs....only half full by now. "Well then, Jackson, I guess you best just keep in the shade over here and not git dirt throwed up at ya." "'Spect yer right, Henry. Don't wanna trouble yew boys none." Grandpa sez: "Gonna go to the house and have Wardie bring some cool water and some butter milk down here to us. Thirst kin be a terribule thing, you know." "Yer absolutely right about that, Henry. Think I'll just stay around fer a while and share some of yer buttermilk with yuhs."

Grandpa took off up the hill and we went back to work. The last stump played the very devil and didn't want to bust out. That top soil there on the bottom was real loamy and soft and that tree set down a tap root that was probably tappin' Charlie Chan on the shoulder on the opposite side of the werld! We didn't say nothing to Jackson, but we had to heard all about his troubles he'sa havin' with'is '41 Packard. Hells bells. Poor unfortunate feller. We was still driving a '28 model A two door. One of my cousins crawled in the back seat one Saturday afternoon and put a .32-20 in'is mouth. Didn't have no fenders no more and the wheels didn't exactly stay in time with that red steering wheel any more, but was paid fer and got us to wheres we was goin'. 'Bout that time Grandma showed up with some water, buttermilk and half a loaf of fresh bread and butter on it. We was helping ourselves when I noticed Grandpa comin' 'round the hill from the Northeast. Had'im a Mason jar in'is hands. Come up quiet behind Jackson and unscrewed the lid offen that jar and out come some bees. Grandpa's little honey bees. They buzzed around Jackson and Samuel and headed out. Makin' a bee line towards the hive.

Well, we'd finished the bread and buttermilk (That's some nasty stuff in my book.) and commenced to gittin' back to work. Grandma had gathered up her things and was going back to the house. Good thing, too. It wasn't gonna be purty in just a bit. I said "Grandpa, you go ahead, I gotta go take a leak after drinkin' all that." Yes, you go ahead, I gotta go, too." The old man and Jim-Jim went over to the team and was tightening up their harness and such and old man Jackson just sit up there on Samuel like they's the king uh Siam, I reckon. I weren't old, but I already knew from foolin' with bees that 1. Bees can be defensive and maybe offensive if the thought strikes'em. 2. Bees don't like bears, cuz bears eat the bee's honey, wrecks the hives, and kills off the colony....and bears is black. And because of that little historical fact, 3. Bees HATE black. Only a fool, to this day, will wear black while he's out doin'is bees. All you gotta do is be walkin' by. They see black and "JEHOSAPHAT, MOMMA! Jewsee Samuel jump straight up offin' the ground and not bend'is laigs?" WHOA, SAMUEL! Jackson was clutchin' onta Samuel with just'is OUCH! laigs cause'is hands were a-flyin' about hiking them bees away. "Damn! Looks like HI-YO, Silver, away, right outta the radio!! Never seed Samuel jump logs afore, Dad." Old man Jackson was a-leanin' backwards DAMN YOU, MULE! like a fierce wind was a blowin'im over and they shore wasn't no po-lite talk comin' from them lips, either! OWWW! "Ride 'em, Jackson. Don't run off inta the branch." Grandpa had a hard time YEW SONOVABITCHIN' MULE!! a-sayin' that cause he's laughin' pretty hard. OWWW! Grandma was half way up the hill and had to stop and turn around to see what all the commotion was. You already know Grandma went to church. Not just any church, mind you, The Yeller Crik Southern Baptist Church and she didn't brook no bad talk outta no one. Not even Grandpa, and my old man was too smart. "Jackson, you git you and yer mule offin this property! OWWW! You be goin' to Hell, Jackson!" With that, she marched right up that hill and we knowed she was gonna be doing two shorts and two longs on the telephone tellin' Miz Jackson what an evil person her ol' man was. You remember all them rural telephone lines was party lines, doncha? Well when you'd ring someone, everone heard the rings. They knew who you was a-callin'. Then they'd real sneaky like, pick up the receiver and listen in. Come supper everone t'ween here and Milan knowed ol' man Jackson was foul mouthed, was goin' to Hell just as soon as the circuit preacher showed up, and he better never come over to the Bookout's fer a goodly spell, if he knows what's good fer'im.

They say laughters good fer the soul and it makes angels sing. Now I don't know if that's exactly true 'er not, but if them angels was a-watchin' that day, they shore wasn't no singin' goin' on. Theys too hard a-laughin'.
 
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I's been on the wood pile most all day and this side splitting, rib busting laughing is painful. But I do thank you for that.

So nice to have folks around what talk normal too.
 
YEEEE HAWWWW!!!! Another story! Khul! I gotta go back and read it! Bookie you rock!
 
Yodel lay, ee ee, yodel ay ee ee.
Lord, I been workin' hard
An' ah feel so bad!
I've got a good Husband
An' I want to keep 'im glad.

I'm an ol' mule skinner from down Kentucky way
I can make any mule listen
Or I won't accept no pay.

Well I'm going to town honey what can I bring you back
Well I'm going to town baby what can I bring you back
Just bring a pint of good rye And a John B.Stetson hat!

As far as I know the US Army STILL has mules! I was invited to Ft Carson back in 2012 and they were using mules in a mounted color guard. Also I saw something recently where they are building a robotic mule. It has 4 legs and a barrel shaped body just like a real mule. Only difference is these have an AI where it actually FOLLOWS the person leading it instead of having to be "skinned" to trick it into moving at all.
 
Shavru said:
...
As far as I know the US Army STILL has mules! I was invited to Ft Carson back in 2012 and they were using mules in a mounted color guard. Also I saw something recently where they are building a robotic mule. It has 4 legs and a barrel shaped body just like a real mule. Only difference is these have an AI where it actually FOLLOWS the person leading it instead of having to be "skinned" to trick it into moving at all.
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during ww2 the CNO outlawed the carrying of swords by navy officers. they were to be turned in to the crap drive. there was such a stink that swords were re-instated after a year or so. the navy still uses swords for the ossifers, and cutlasses for enlisted. some traditions just do not die.

i've seen that mechanical mule, looks good, you can push it and it recovers its balance. still not as smart or nimble as a real mule. there are still places where a mechanised vehicle or helicopopter can't reach, that a mule could. mules can generally live off the land, an ai iron mule can't. needs fuel. and if worst comes to worst, you can't eat it.
 
Shavru said:
Yodel lay, ee ee, yodel ay ee ee.
Lord, I been workin' hard
An' ah feel so bad!
I've got a good Husband
An' I want to keep 'im glad.

I'm an ol' mule skinner from down Kentucky way
I can make any mule listen
Or I won't accept no pay.

Well I'm going to town honey what can I bring you back
Well I'm going to town baby what can I bring you back
Just bring a pint of good rye And a John B.Stetson hat!

As far as I know the US Army STILL has mules! I was invited to Ft Carson back in 2012 and they were using mules in a mounted color guard. Also I saw something recently where they are building a robotic mule. It has 4 legs and a barrel shaped body just like a real mule. Only difference is these have an AI where it actually FOLLOWS the person leading it instead of having to be "skinned" to trick it into moving at all.
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One of my high school teachers served in a mule-powered Army unit. They worked up the spine of Italy where roads were few. Had to fight off a German attack on a mountaintop. It came down to bayonet work before the end. After D Day they toured France and Germany. Once they were able to keep moving when the rest of Eisenhower’s Army was stalled for lack of gas.

I wish I remembered more details. I’d like to look that unit up.

Mr. Murphy wasn’t nostalgic for the mules. But he wasn’t nostalgic for the war, either.
 
Still two cavalry companies in the Army. One is "official" and the other is secondary ceremonial. The trap door Springfield was "officially" off the Army inventory in 1949...but I wonder where they get theirs and the 1860 pattern sabers. Uncle Sam has secrets today, I guess....I know the 1906 steel cav sabers are still somewhere.
 
hehe, I still have my sword Kron. It was pretty obnoxiously decorative and dull as a butterknife when I got it. Still obnoxious, but a whole lot sharper now.
I like the robo mules. They carry ammo and gear and fuel for 4 days and they can be setup to evac a wounded soldier by placing him inside it. But you are correct they sure are not as smart as a real mule...question is would that be a good thing or bad considering they use their smarts to outsmart us LOL.

Raymond1000, in OCS we learned about many of those battles. I have read about 3rd Infantry in the drive to Palermo using them for just that reason, bad or no roads. Quite possible it wasn't that Division, but that one has some really interesting stories that probably are very similar if not the same as Mr. Murphy's unit if you want to read up on them.
 
gurkha berserka said:
A lot of "experts" put limitations on our animals. Some say our cats and dogs don't have souls... HUH! They are fools who never took the time to connect with another living thing other than human. I had a male German Shepard that could also recognize his reflection in a mirror. No one believed me and I am sure a "expert" would say we are mistaken. Animals are so much more in tune to the world around them than we give them credit for.

I have one Maine Coon cat that watches Big Cat Diaries with me every Saturday morning. He knows its Saturday morning because I don't get up for work. He wakes me up at just the right time and we go on the couch and watch it EVERY SINGLE SATURDAY! He never forgets and always reminds me. He sits and watches the animals on tv, he loves watching them stalk prey. He makes these weird chirps and crackling sounds out of his mouth.
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http://mic.com/articles/104474/brain-scans-reveal-what-dogs-really-think-of-us
 
Really cool article MoonW. It is awesome that science validates what Dog lovers have always known. Dogs aren't just man's best friends but A dog is A man's or woman's best friend.
 
not just best friends, we couldn't have existed without each other.wolves and man set up a symbiosis a hundred millenia or so ago that made us both the dominant omnivorous mammals on this planet. neither we nor dogs are the same as before then. we both evolved for each other. luckily we had the thumbs. i am of course prejudiced being a human. poppy probably thinks she got the best of the deal.
 
Was pretty sick a while back. Was outta my head fer a spell, you know. Made me think of the time I had the delirium tremens from drinkin' the old man's radiator alcohol. Really strange dreams can come up on you and when you wake up, you cain't tell if they was real or not! Was pretty sick like I said and runnin' a fever and thrashin' the bed something fierce. Next thing I knew, I was standin' along this yella 4 lane when Bawanna comes a waltzin' by on'is really tall mule, Steve. Sez to me, "Git on up here and I'll give you a lift." Steve goes "Nobody done asked me." "Don't mind if I do" had just popped outta my mouth when this funny lookin' roundish octy-million sided house fell outta the sky and squorshed this lady walkin' down the road towards us. Whoa! That could've landed on us! Then this great big soap bubble comes floatin' by and this lady all dressed in pretty clothes and a couple of them funny bent knives stuck in'er belt pops out and Bawanna greets'er with "Hey there, Auntie! Howzit goin'?" "Tolerable" she says just as this other lady drives up in'er Hum-Vee. The winder rolls down and she starts yellin' at us. "Hey! Whadyado with my sister?"; who just happened to be the lady that was about a half inch tall and layin' in the shade of that house.

I backs up as she gits outta that Hum-Vee and cain't help but notice she's all decked out in desert cami and packin' a sawed off .45 on'er hip. Gots this flyin' monkey on'er shoulder, named Moon and orders with practiced authority: "Moon, go git them red shoes offin' my sister." I was getting a little worried watchin' all this goin' on when Auntie waves this extra long Chitlangi around in the air and all of a sudden Bawanna gots these red sneakers on his feet! Just like magic, it was! Let me tell you, I was impressed! Gotta get me one of them Chitlangis for sure. Next we all hears this lady yell "I'll git you fer this, Bawanna, and yer tall mule, Steve, too!" Her and'er flyin' monkey, Moon, put their shades on and drives off and I'm just wantin' to go home.

Bawanna says: "Let's drive over to Corn Patch and see the great an' powerful Philllll. He'll know how to get you back home again." So he puts Steve in gear and we squeal out laying hoof marks down the 4 lane. We're clipping right along when we sees this fella standing out in this medicinal cannabis patch with a pole stuck up'is pants leg holding him up. Bawanna pulls over and sez "Hey, Pugs. Whatchu doin'?" and Pugs replies back "Oh, just hangin' around. Where you headed?" "We're going over to Corn Patch so's we can git Philllll to git Bookie back home." "Oh, far out, man. You suppose Philllll'd know how to get me a sheath to cover my Cannabis Khola?" "Why shore. Climb on up." Steve, not bein' none to happy about this developing situations says: "You suppose this Philllll'd know how to git me some brains fer allowin' this to happen to me?" And Bawanna replies "Why shore. Giddy up!"

By and by, we come up on this feller standin' outside the Corn Patch front door. "Bawanna smiles and greets him like he's known'im for years. "Hey Dog! How you doin'? Dog answers back like he knowed Bawanna for years, too. "Mornin', Bawanna, my old amigo! What you doin' in these parts?" "Oh, we come to see Philllll." "Sorry man, but Philllll moved to Oz. Next door to Dan the knife man. Somewheres through the Victoria Pass and Southwest of Sydney a ways." Steve's eyes was bugging out and he says "I ain'ta goin' to walk that far. We better git us over to Bob's and see if he got one of them big Mopar Dodge trucks we can all fit in." Bawanna thunk that over and said "Bookie. I know how to git you home. I got these magic red sneakers on." and with that he booted me in the fanny perpendicular so hard, I smacked into the top of this rainbow that was flying over Reno. Seems like I was fallin' for ever and just when I was gonna hit the ground, why, I woke up! I was standing outside my place and thinkin' there was no place like home when this Hum-Vee pulls up bein' driv by a flyin' monkey. This chick wearin' shades in back rolls down the winder with AC/DC blastin' outta the radio, and waves an open bottle of Guinness at me and says "Hey, big boy. You wanna lift?..and, uh, oh. Don't you wear pajamas?".........yessir, them D.T.s can sure play with your mind sometimes.
 
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