I definitely don't recommend benchstones for a beginner. It's frustrating enough learning how to raise a burr, grind it off, pick the right angle and finishing grit, etc., without also trying to hold the angle perfect.
I don't sharpen freehand enough to be great at it, but once you've got the basics down, you can pick it up quick. Perhaps the best thing you can do for yourself, if you want to learn how to use benchstones, is to buy yourself the clamps from Razor Edge (rdangerer provided the link above). Those clamps will hold the angle perfectly. And, unlike any other system -- 204, Edge Pro, Lansky, etc. -- the Razor Edge uses the exact same movements you would use freehand. To some extent, the motions do get worked into muscle memory. I learned on the Razor Edge, and almost magically, after a few months I could remove the clamps and get a decent edge freehand for the first time in my life.
When I sharpen freehand, I make extensive use of my thumbs and fingers. I feel the distance between the stone and blade spine. After a while, you also develop some sensitivity and can feel if you're grinding along the edge bevel, or if you're off.
Joe