Lothar:
I didn't mean to imply that every violent situation can be avoided, although looking at my post it seems that's what I said!
I have been interested in combat and strategy for many years now and have studied kungfu for three, so I would be a hypocrite to say that violence is never necessary. The reason that I emphasise awareness, though, is that too many folks ignore it. The fighters rely on their skill and physique, the pacifists stick their head in the sand and only a few people see the value of it. So I always bring it up!
Angel:
Self taught is hard for some, impossible for most. Apart from the technical difficulties in learning moves, a fight will involve two people at least and this interaction is a key factor. So you need to train with as many different people as you can. On top of that, if you got pissed off after 3 judo classes, I doubt you have the motivation to achieve much on your own, except a false sense of security.
So reconsider your position on MA. Most people, including judoka, admit that judo is more of a sport than a comprehensive fighting system. I sense that you did not adapt to the class structure too well, so I would expect that you would not be very happy with most of the other Japanese martial arts. Don't rule them out, though, as many teachers have differing styles and attitudes, and if you check out a few classes you should find one that you like. My recommendation would be to find a southern kungfu style such as hung gar, lau gar or wing tsun, they tend to be very practical(sometimes they look impractical due to wide open movements, which are pared down for street use) If you're lucky you may find someone near you who teaches Hsing I, Pakua or Tai Chi but make sure their focus is on combat applications or you'll be learning forms for years without learning to defend yourself. Jiu jitsu, aikido, kickboxing, JKD all have their place, but its fashionable to be JKD so there are plenty of bogus players about, and beware of anyone who names 'their system' after themselves.
Shortlist 4 or 5 classes that you can get to fairly easily (so you have no excuses!) watch a class or two for each and take a trail lesson if you can. Ask lots of questions, and pay attention not only to the answers, but the way in which your questions are recieved. Look at the class culture and see if it suits you. A little regimentation is to be expected but if they give you attitude go elsewhere. I prefer the more traditional arrangement where everybody works with everybody else regardless of gender, size or age and where questions are freely asked and answered. Most importantly, find out who's been there for 6-24 months and see what they are capable of, in particular the female students. This will give you an idea of what to reasonably expect.
Then, take it seriously, train at home. Persevere.
Glad my last post was of use to you, sorry about your experience on the UK board as it sounds unecessary, which one was it?
Dom