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I miss my dad

Discussion in 'Community Center' started by Neko2, Apr 21, 2017.

  1. Neko2

    Neko2 Gold Member Gold Member

    Jul 18, 2003
    So my father passed away last night.
    I held his hand, looked him in the eyes and didn't let go until he did.
    I told him I love him and that I'd miss him but that I knew he had to go.

    I think I pushed the pain aside so I could be strong for my hero and it's slowly coming back to get me.

    Now I have to dismantle everything he owned and was before the bank comes for the house and car.
    It all happened so quickly that the will and power of attorney forms are still sitting blank in his house.

    I know that everyone eventually has to do this but tell your dad you love him while you can. Things may come up and change things very quickly.

    I just needed to let it out and thought maybe people could benefit from a reminder that you need to love what you have while you can.
  2. GasMan1

    GasMan1 Gold Member Gold Member

    May 27, 2015
    Neko, I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost my father-in-law and mother-in-law 39 days apart last October. My wife and I have been together since 1987 and I was very close to them both. I know it meant alot that you were with him. I'm going to make a point to stop by and see my dad tomorrow.
    Neko2 and Lapedog like this.
  3. SVTFreak

    SVTFreak Gold Member Gold Member

    Mar 8, 2011
    Sorry man. Will pray for you and him and the family.
    Neko2 and Lapedog like this.
  4. taldesta

    taldesta Retired :-) Time is the Gold Platinum Member

    Jan 24, 2013
    Your hands will touch so many things your dad's hands touched. Little by little. I am so sorry that you have lost your dad. Wishing you strength in dealing with your grief. Please be kind to yourself.
    Lapedog likes this.
  5. austexjg


    Oct 22, 2014
    I'm sorry for your loss - smoke and prayers sent. Rejoice in the memories.
    Lapedog likes this.
  6. Neko2

    Neko2 Gold Member Gold Member

    Jul 18, 2003
    Thanks for the kind words words everyone.
    I'm going to start going trough the house tomorrow and getting ready for an estate sale of what I don't keep.
    He wasn't financially successful by the end so most everything just goes back to the banks and I have to pull all the memories out first.

    I'm expecting it to be hard for awhile.
    Lapedog likes this.
  7. glennbad

    glennbad Knife Moddin' Fool Knifemaker / Craftsman / Service Provider

    Jan 13, 2003
    Really sorry to read this. I lost my dad back in February, and the pain is still fresh.

    I'm glad you were there with him at the end. We don't always get to say goodbye. I hope you are able to get the special things out of the house while you have time. Get through this the best you can. Try to remember that there is no right or wrong way to deal with this. Just let each day happen.

    My condolences for your loss.

    Neko2 and Lapedog like this.
  8. 22-rimfire


    Nov 20, 2005
    After you get past this, just focus on the good stuff. I feel for you. How old was your father?

    I have been through this with both my Mother and Father.
    Lapedog likes this.
  9. Lapedog


    Dec 7, 2016
    I'm very sorry to hear it. Hope you have many fond memories to treasure for the rest of your days. God bless.
  10. cchu518

    cchu518 Gold Member Gold Member

    Mar 6, 2013
    Prayers and hoping for strength for you and your family in this time of mourning. Sorry for your loss.
    Neko2 likes this.
  11. eisman

    eisman Gold Member Gold Member

    Sep 9, 2009
    It's hard. It took me almost 2 years to settle everything from my moms estate and she had it pretty well organized. I still find myself thinking about them when I see or do something they would have enjoyed. Focus on the good stuff.
    Neko2 likes this.
  12. Neko2

    Neko2 Gold Member Gold Member

    Jul 18, 2003
    My dad was 70 so all in all he had a long life. It just all went downhill so quickly I couldn't adjust fast enough.

    I just hope I was able to make his last few weeks comfortable and happy. He deserved that and more.
  13. KELAMA


    Jun 28, 2013
    "So my father passed away last night.
    I held his hand, looked him in the eyes and didn't let go until he did.
    I told him I love him and that I'd miss him but that I knew he had to go."

    ^ Reading both your OP and your last post, I have no doubt that having your loving presence and support, made your father's passing into eternal life, much more peaceful.

    Condolences and Prayers, that you may remain strong during this these extremely painful times.
  14. Neko2

    Neko2 Gold Member Gold Member

    Jul 18, 2003
    I keep having my doubts, about everything, but I think I made it the best it could be with constant company, his favorite foods and basically whatever he asked for.

    I know that he's with God now and I told him to say hi to his parents for me and to go find my wife's father as well. Even knowing that, it's still hard, especially while sorting through his house with all of the elder care items around that mar the memories of my 42 years with the last two months.

    I'll repeat, spend some time with your parents while you have time. Build good memories and let them know how much you love them before you can't.

    Sorry for the melodrama everyone but I really do appreciate all the responses. It takes the edge off a bit
    KELAMA likes this.
  15. eisman

    eisman Gold Member Gold Member

    Sep 9, 2009
    Both my parents died of cancer. Dad back 17-18 years now. Mom had him at home to the end and that was good, she could do a good job taking care of him since she was an RN. But when she got bad I moved her in with me and the last 4-5 months were really hard. I was working to pay the bills and then coming home to take care of her. Had to pay someone all day to provide care, so I just kept working and getting behind. Worse was knowing I'm not the best at nursing. Her meds would make her a little crazy and that was hard to deal with. I wouldn't put anyone thru that. Still have bad memories and it's four years. Best thing I can say is I'm glad my brothers didn't have to deal with it.

    It gets better with time. You sort thru stuff and get rid of it. Put the stuff that means something away for a while. Thank God the mind tends to remember the good stuff better and more often than the bad.
    KELAMA and Neko2 like this.
  16. BenchCo Spydermade

    BenchCo Spydermade

    Feb 10, 2014
    Sorry for your loss. Smoke and prayers sent.
    Neko2 likes this.
  17. Wurrwulf

    Wurrwulf Gold Member Gold Member

    Dec 3, 2015
    Neko, I'm so sorry for your loss. May 29 will make 6 years since my father passed.

    Allow yourself to heal.

    So many times, we want to move on and not address the pain. I tried to hide the pain, but it made everything in my life even worse. I had to allow for the break downs, allow the floods of thoughts, laugh and cry with intensity.

    I hope that you come to peace with as much ease as possible. I hope that you can celebrate his 70 wonderful years.
    Neko2 and KELAMA like this.
  18. Phixt


    May 28, 2016
    Sorry for your loss, Neko. The crying and screaming is more important than--or perhaps a vital part of--the endurance and resilience.

    My dad is turning 70 on Mother's Day, thank you for the, "I love you" reminder. Stay strong, Neko.
    Neko2 likes this.
  19. rscornutt


    Apr 25, 2017
    Sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
    Neko2 likes this.
  20. stuff_things

    stuff_things Gold Member Gold Member

    Apr 28, 2015
    Neko, you're only a stranger to me, but I hope you are doing well---as well as you can be. Don't fight the emotions and embrace the fact that you have the ability to feel; too many people, myself included, try to wash it all away.
    Neko2 likes this.

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