Joke

[Bill Marsh]

Two things Navy SEALS are always taught: Keep your priorities in order. Know when to act without hesitation.

A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that for once and for all he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!!"

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by.

" I'm waiting God, if you're real knock me off this platform!!!!"

Again after 5 minutes, the professor taunted God saying, "Here I am, God!!! I'm still waiting!!!"

His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a SEAL, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor. The SEAL hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold!! The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The SEAL nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat silent. The class looked at him and fell silent.....waiting. Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the SEAL in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What the hell is the matter with you?! Why did you do that!?"

"God was really busy protecting America's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid crap and act like an idot!!!!!!!! So he sent me!!"

ONE NATION UNDER GOD!!!

 

[Tohatchi NM]

Just because you CAN say it, doesn't mean you SHOULD. I don't think the ACLU is evil - perhaps extreme at times, but upholding the fundamental rights of the citizenry is not a bad thing. Though interpreting how the wording of those rights translates to daily life is, at best, an inexact science.

 

[45-70]

Just because you CAN say it, doesn't mean you SHOULD. I don't think the ACLU is evil - perhaps extreme at times, but upholding the fundamental rights of the citizenry is not a bad thing. Though interpreting how the wording of those rights translates to daily life is, at best, an inexact science.

Inexact science?

Sometimes I wonder what they are reading.

Chicken guts and muddy water...

 

[munk]

First time I heard that joke it was a US Marine. Now a Navy Seal? These teachers are getting tougher.

One of the hardest things to learn is that reality is defined by popular whim.

The 'seperation' of church and state has been taught long enough to bear fruit.


munk

 

[Daniel Koster]

Yes, a Marine....and he tackles him. I've also heard the one where it was 3 or 4 Marines. Same punchline, of course (sent me/us to do it).

 

[Josh Feltman]

I've seen this joke before in different versions, and every time, it seems a bit less funny. I know it's just a joke, but the moral seems to be, "If you don't believe in my invisible superhero in the sky, I'll kick your ass!" God bless America.

 

[munk]

The moral is, 'there are real good things in our society being taken away by superficial clods, and they should not be allowed to do this."

I don't give a damn about the god thing. (in this context)

I'd like to have this conversation with you in another 15 years. You just got out of, "Dead heart in a dead world." So maybe you're still not ready.
But as far as I'm concerned, Lassie can keep coming home over the God-Durned hill as long as we need her to.

That's what that joke is about.

When did people being happy become so offensive to this Legalistic society??
The professor in this joke is mean, spiteful, arrogant, and in a few small sentences, removes and mocks the value and belief systems of over 2000 years.


munk

 

[Josh Feltman]

I think the joke says a lot about our cultures and values. And it's A belief system, not THE belief system. Unfortunately, part of that belief system includes the idea that it is ok to use violence to force your beliefs on others, undoubtedly for their own good. I've explained the dead heart reference to you before, munk. I think you read a bit too much into it, and perhaps too much into me as a person.

 

[raghorn]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to munk again.

To me it's a story about arrogance, of which there is no shortage today in academia.

Edited to add: I agree with your point about the use of violence, Josh. It's all about respecting values. On both sides.

 

[munk]

If I read too much into it- so do you in your criticism of it. It's a joke.

The violence reflects a growing frustration and bitterness over legalistic and new age interpretations of law in the US. You say I read too much into it, but I have my finger on the button.

You're reacting to that violence, that joke. You think that violence is directed against you? Would you stand in front of your classroom and mock the value system of many of your students, daring their 'god' to strike you down, patronizing them? Josh, I can see you challenging people sincerely, but not snidely.

Don't worry about the dead heart reference. I may be a clod, but I understand what it's like to be 30 years old or so in the Land Of the Big Mac.

And in fifteen years, if I'm still alive, I WILL still be your friend, and we can still talk about this.

munk

 

[Josh Feltman]

Well, munk, if I'm alive in 15 years, I'll still be your friend too.

 

[raghorn]

Aw heck, now you guys are getting me all misty...

 

[Josh Feltman]

I apologize--I've been filled with rage lately. It comes out inappropriately. I realize it's just a joke.

 

[munk]

to revisit a silly notion, (from when I was around 30)

'munk' is short for chipmunk, though is a mutation. It has a religious connotation, for the intrinsic, spiritual understanding a monk may achieve, a 'munk' cannot attain.
Ratty rules the world. Every good thing bears the nip or salivia of the Rat; that force always mocking and undermining all good effort. A chipmunk is a kind of subject, cute, adorable on the outside, the superficial appearence contrasted with rather vicious, and dirty personal habbits. (ever watch a squirrel try and bite the testicals off a rival?)

This was the kind of rambling going on in my mind 20 years ago, when I attempted to plant a "Chuckie Cheese" rat flag on the summit of San Gorgonio.

Five years ago when I found the internet, I chose 'munk' as my moniker. I use it wherever I go.
Josh will probably protest, but I did understand the Dead Heart in a Dead World; reference to something else entirely or not. It is very easy to become disillusioned with a world that says one thing, does the other, and mocks you as you go.

munk

 

[ibear]

First time I heard that joke it was a US Marine. Now a Navy Seal? These teachers are getting tougher.

One of the hardest things to learn is that reality is defined by popular whim.

The 'seperation' of church and state has been taught long enough to bear fruit.


munk

REALITY IS DEFINED BY POPULAR WHIM!
************************************
You smart person, good thinking! I would add that it also takes agreement on that whim... but what the HELL anyway, I'm agreeing with you again!
See?
Thanks,
iBear

 

[depusm12]

Personally the SEAL'S I worked with wouldn't have waited till the last couple of minutes. But hey thats the way my boys woulda reacted as well. God Bless America.


James

 

[DannyinJapan]

Let's face it - it's a joke, not a treatise on modern ethics.

It has some problems. The professor may have been trying to make a point and that's his job. What if he started talking about human evolution? Would it have been ok for a marine to stick a banana up his butt?

There IS a point to the "God in humanity" thing too, I remember another joke..

Some guy's boat sinks and he's in the water. A lifeguard swims out, but the guy refuses help, saying he wants God to save him. A helicopter comes, but he refuses. Same response. Boat comes - same response.
Finally, the guy drowns. When he has reached his final destination he says "Hey God, Why didnt you help me?"
God says "What are you talking about? I sent a lifeguard, a chopper and a boat!"

 

[ibear]

What if he started talking about human evolution? Would it have been ok for a marine to stick a banana up his butt? -- DannyinJapan
**************************************
Yeah, those Marines will do anything to make their point! A banana might look funny stuck there.... ya think? Probably, huh?
Smile,
iBear

 

[ibear]

I apologize--I've been filled with rage lately. It comes out inappropriately. I realize it's just a joke.

Well, munk, if I'm alive in 15 years, I'll still be your friend too.
**********************************************
Tears... mist and flow... YES, me three Munk! I'll still be your friend too.
OH HELL, we all will always like you Munk! You are growing on us. And such a nice guy too! If I'm alive in 15 years, I'll come over to your house and get a drink of water and chop up all your wood with my Khuk.... YEAH!
Smile,
iBear

 

[Tohatchi NM]

If we're going to analyze, both parties are probably in the wrong. The Professor is using his position of power to force his view (anti-religion) on students. This is assuming that religion is not topical to the discussion, but regardless completely ridiculing ideas is not good policy. The other guy is using violence to force his view.

It would be interesting if the ACLU brought a case against an atheist using government resources to promote his view of religion - something like a huge stone monolith with "THERE IS NO GOD" chiseled on the side.

As I understand it, public displays of religion are OK. It's the use of common resources (e.g. government funds, public space) that is not OK. Also, people in positions of public trust, acting in official capacity, should not "preach". This ideal gets dicey in practice. The President is an avowed Christian, but he is under public scrutiny at every moment. He should not be forbidden from expressing his religious beliefs, but how can he express those beliefs without giving the impression that they represent official US policy? Also, how can any elected official consider some very contentions issues (right to die, health care, abortion) without the very real, very beneficial core of moral values that religion provides? I'm surprised the Terry Schiavo case hasn't come up in a thread.

I don't think that a person should step back from their beliefs, abandon religion, and try to make laws. Then we might as well write a computer program that makes decisions based on maximal efficiency. However, I think when we interact with others, we must abandon dogmatism. Even if I KNOW my perceptions and beliefs to be true, I should be able to set them aside and listen to what another person has to say - what their internal views and truths are. Then, I can combine that knowledge with my own beliefs and come up with the best solution. I don't have the perfect answer yet, and I'm thinking alot about these sorts of problems. The best I've come up with is that you should not force others to adopt your views. You should present your truths and the ideas supporting them. If they really are better, than the other person will be swayed. (again an ideal case that ignores many realities of humanity)