Unofficial name of the 2023 Blade Forum Knife.

What shall we dub the 2023 Blade Forum Knife?

  • Total voters
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EngrSorenson EngrSorenson enters the room. A swivel chair faces away from him. The top of a mans head is visible. The chair spins slowly to face him.
The man has all the obvious hallmarks of an evil super villain...out of date hair, hideous disfiguring facial scar, a large gold ring cast with a narwhale symbol and of course an exotic looking cat... as well as being a renowned genius..in this case creative writing.He scribbles a few words on expensive parchment with a ridiculously oversized quill. Seals the envelope with hot wax and the narwhale ring and hands it to a ridiculously over sized turban wearing manservant
"Have Mr Schlossberg examine this document and send it to Pennsylvania would you James."
The servant nods and silently exits.
The mans gaze fixes on Sorenson
"Welcome to the Porch Mr Sorenson....I've been expecting you."
The cat hisses loudly and scampers off.
"But you see,you have walked straight into my little trap....you AND your friends in this thread."
The chair pivots back around to the sound of insanely smug chuckling...the cat returns to its masters lap ,purring.
"Yes! Commander Sorenson...you are correct ,of course, it is I Baron Von Meakenstein. But I'm afraid you are too late. The fuse has already been lit."
The chair moves closer to the roaring log fireplace bedraped with an 18ft long stuffed Mako Shark...a terrifying toothy trophy which glares hungrily .The fire places opens as the chair moves closer and closer towards it...as if to disappear into the very flames .
"Yeeoowwoooch.JAMES OPEN THE BLOODY THING ALL THE WAY YOU MORON" Screeches The Baron as his chair gets stuck on the hearth and the smell of burning cat hair fills the room.
The stone fireplaces rumbles open .As the chair vanishes into the dark chamber behind the chimney...it promptly slams shut and apart from the sound of the crackling fire and muffled swearing ...it's as if no one had ever been there.
 
Once upon a time, in a small coastal town, there lived a peculiar man named Ol' Humpy. He was known for his unkempt appearance, shaggy beard, and a constant hunch in his back, which earned him the unusual nickname. Ol' Humpy was a lover of adventure, and his most daring escapade began when he decided to embark on a solo sailing trip across the vast ocean.

Equipped with only his trusty pocket knife and an old, worn-out sailboat, Ol' Humpy set sail, leaving behind the familiar shores of his hometown. The salty breeze filled his lungs as he navigated through the ever-changing tides. However, fate had something else in store for him.

A fierce storm suddenly emerged, catching Ol' Humpy off guard. The once calm sea transformed into a raging tempest, tossing his small boat mercilessly. The violent waves crashed against his vessel, eventually tearing it apart. Ol' Humpy was left stranded, struggling to stay afloat amidst the chaos.

Days turned into weeks, and Ol' Humpy found himself drifting aimlessly in the vast ocean. Deprived of food and water, he fought desperately to survive, relying solely on his pocket knife for sustenance. With its sharp blade, he managed to catch fish, cut open coconuts, and collect rainwater during occasional showers.

But Ol' Humpy's misfortune didn't end there. Unbeknownst to him, his desperate cries for help were heard by passing ships on three separate occasions. However, each time he would shout, "Help! I'm Ol' Humpy!" the crews would burst into laughter, believing it to be a ludicrous joke. No one could fathom a man with such an absurd name could truly be in distress.

Weeks turned into months, and just when Ol' Humpy's hope was dwindling, fate intervened once again. A weathered and experienced sea captain named Meako was captaining a research vessel in the vicinity. Captain Meako had heard of the legendary Ol' Humpy and his peculiar adventures but had never believed the tales to be true.

Curiosity got the better of Captain Meako, and he decided to investigate the latest reports of a man stranded at sea. As the research vessel approached the coordinates, Captain Meako spotted a feeble figure on a makeshift raft, clinging to life. It was Ol' Humpy, his face weathered and his spirit nearly broken.

Without a moment's hesitation, Captain Meako's crew pulled Ol' Humpy aboard the vessel. They provided him with fresh clothes, nourishing food, and a warm bunk. Captain Meako listened to Ol' Humpy's incredible tale, astonished by his perseverance and the hardships he had endured.

Over the next few weeks, Captain Meako became a mentor and friend to Ol' Humpy. He taught him the ways of the sea, regaling him with stories of daring voyages and rescues. Under Captain Meako's guidance, Ol' Humpy's spirit was rekindled, and he regained his strength and vitality.

Word of Ol' Humpy's extraordinary survival spread throughout the maritime community, and he became a legend in his own right. People admired his tenacity and resilience, and they marveled at the comedic twist of his nearly missed rescues.

From that day forward, Ol' Humpy and Captain Meako remained lifelong friends, sharing countless adventures on the high seas. Ol' Humpy, now a seasoned sailor, would forever be grateful to Captain Meako for not only saving his life but also nurturing his spirit back to life. And wherever they went, Ol' Humpy would always be recognized, not just as a man lost at sea, but as the legendary Ol' Humpy, the survivor
 
Ol ‘Humpy could have gone in an entirely different direction. Thankfully not.
 
Ol' Humpy and Captain Meako were two sailors who had spent most of their lives roaming the high seas. While they hailed from different backgrounds - Ol' Humpy, a lumbering, good-natured former whaler from Nantucket, and Captain Meako, a nimble, intelligent pirate from the West Indies - their love for adventure and unquenchable thirst for discovering the unknown tied them together like the strongest of ropes.

One day, as they navigated their ship, The Merry Marlin, they stumbled upon an island that wasn't charted in any of their maps. It was the island of Nor. Excitement filled their hearts; it was the possibility of meeting the Nor folk, experiencing a new culture, and maybe finding some hidden treasures that compelled them to anchor their ship.

However, as soon as they set foot on the island, they were detained by the authorities. It turned out they had unintentionally violated a crucial cultural norm – strangers were not allowed to carry weapons onto the island, and their knives were considered weapons. Baffled and disappointed, the duo found themselves standing before the Congress of Narwhals - the leading legislative body of Nor - composed of the island's wisest and oldest inhabitants. The Narwhals were humanoid, tusky beings, renowned for their knowledge of the seas and mystical traditions.

The congress explained that the island laws were sacred, and their violation was a serious offense. The only way Ol' Humpy and Captain Meako could regain their freedom was by trading their knives - their most prized possessions, symbols of their identity, and tools of survival.

It was a difficult decision to make. Ol' Humpy's knife was given to him by his father, a seasoned whaler. Captain Meako's knife was a treasure he had acquired from his first successful pirate raid. Despite the emotional value and practical importance of these knives, the sailors knew that their freedom was paramount. They decided to trade their knives, reaffirming their commitment to each other, promising that no matter what, their friendship would remain unbroken.

Stripped of their knives, they felt incomplete, but there was an undercurrent of hope. They used their wit and charm, quickly gaining the favor of the folk of Nor. Ol' Humpy entertained them with his hilarious stories from the sea, while Captain Meako taught them new sea shanties and navigation techniques.

As days turned into weeks, their bond with the Nor folk grew stronger. The sailors may have lost their knives, but they gained a new family, a new home, and valuable life experiences. Their friendship did not falter but instead strengthened. And in return for their knives, the Congress gifted them with the "Tusks of Truth," ornamental yet practical narwhal tusks, acknowledging their acceptance in the Nor community.

The story of Ol' Humpy and Captain Meako serves as a testament to their camaraderie and their willingness to adapt and grow. Even though they began their journey to Nor as strangers, they left as cherished friends, their friendship proving stronger than any physical object they had to part with.
 
meako said:
Didnt Capn Meako get The Porchenberg Citation of Prestigiousnesness .....again.?👍
Click to expand...
Yes. Yes he did indeed!
In fact, the PCCA (Porchenberg Citation Committee Association) recently determined that Capn Meako had exuded so much prestigiousness this year that a second award had become absolutely necessary.
A spokeswomen for the PCCA stated, "Granting two awards was the only way to be certain that the pretigious Capn would receive the appropriate amount of accolades that he so richly deserves".
In his usual humble fashion Capn Meako accepted both awards. During his second acceptance speech he appeared to be mumbling something about Admiralty worthy and cash value.
The Committee has also announced, if the venerable Capn continues in his prestigiousness, three awards may become necessary next year. So we have that to look forward to.
 
Yair and now everyone has to call me err him ''Brave Capn Meako''...anderrmmm wasn't he given the Key To The City Expensive Drinks Cabinet...if I remember rightly...what a guy.🫡
 
I’ve actually just chartered the APCCA (Association of Porchenberg Citation Committee Associations) which finds that the actions of the PCCA (Porchenberg Citation Committee Association) were remiss in the citation of a mere two awards. Let it be known that the APCCA refers one meako meako for two additional citations of merit. May this accommodation of commendation serve as remediation.
 
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