What "Traditional Knife" are ya totin' today?

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It all started when Roland “Two-Toes” McKinney, proud owner of an alarming collection of belt buckles, got his hands on the RoseCraft Blades Overall Creek Farm Hand pocket knife over at Mule Barn Mercantile. With its sleek D2 steel blade and checkered sandalwood handle, it was fancier than prom night at a Cracker Barrel.

Mule Barn Mercantile was the only feed store in three counties where you could get chicken scratch, hydraulic fluid, a questionable hot dog, and life advice from a guy named Buckshot all under one tin roof. The knife was in a dusty glass case right next to a lighter shaped like a trout and and a box of Slim Jim's. With a handshake and a smile, Roland pocketed the knife and declared himself “King of All Handy Stuff.”

Roland “Two-Toes” McKinney wasn’t known for his grace, precision, or sobriety ... but he tried, bless his heart. That afternoon, he strutted into the barn like a cowboy samurai and sliced open a feed bag so swiftly the goats applauded. Well, one goat sneezed, but it felt like applause.

Roland thought the knife was something a right gentleman farmer might use to slice both sausage and social ties. He took to carrying it everywhere, flipping it open so often and so dramatically that folks at the gas station started calling him “Blade-y Crockett.” He even used it to cut a ribbon at the grand opening of his cousin’s bait shop. At home out on Pea Ridge Road, after pulling on some Peach moonshine in the evening and before retiring for the night, Roland always put the pocket knife in a place of honor on his mantel, next to a taxidermy squirrel and a bottle of off-brand cologne labeled “Musk Wrangler.”

The trouble began when Roland tried to whittle a wooden statue of Dale Earnhardt for the church raffle. After fifteen minutes and three Band-Aids, he had carved what looked more like a melted garden gnome, but he proudly called it “Victory Lap Jesus.” Roland was so satisfied with the effort, he went to the house to get a good pull of that Peach shine. While he was gone from the barn, that’s when a curious chicken walked off with the knife. Now the RoseCraft Overall Creek Farm Hand pocket knife resides somewhere in the coop, guarded by the world's most territorial hen, named Rhonda.

And IF Roland does find it, but can’t wrestle it back from Rhonda ... well, there’s no shame in heading back down to Mule Barn Mercantile to see if Buckshot has its twin.


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BrotherJim said:
It all started when Roland “Two-Toes” McKinney, proud owner of an alarming collection of belt buckles, got his hands on the RoseCraft Blades Overall Creek Farm Hand pocket knife over at Mule Barn Mercantile. With its sleek D2 steel blade and checkered sandalwood handle, it was fancier than prom night at a Cracker Barrel.

Mule Barn Mercantile was the only feed store in three counties where you could get chicken scratch, hydraulic fluid, a questionable hot dog, and life advice from a guy named Buckshot all under one tin roof. The knife was in a dusty glass case right next to a lighter shaped like a trout and and a box of Slim Jim's. With a handshake and a smile, Roland pocketed the knife and declared himself “King of All Handy Stuff.”

Roland “Two-Toes” McKinney wasn’t known for his grace, precision, or sobriety ... but he tried, bless his heart. That afternoon, he strutted into the barn like a cowboy samurai and sliced open a feed bag so swiftly the goats applauded. Well, one goat sneezed, but it felt like applause.

Roland thought the knife was something a right gentleman farmer might use to slice both sausage and social ties. He took to carrying it everywhere, flipping it open so often and so dramatically that folks at the gas station started calling him “Blade-y Crockett.” He even used it to cut a ribbon at the grand opening of his cousin’s bait shop. At home out on Pea Ridge Road, after pulling on some Peach moonshine in the evening and before retiring for the night, Roland always put the pocket knife in a place of honor on his mantel, next to a taxidermy squirrel and a bottle of off-brand cologne labeled “Musk Wrangler.”

The trouble began when Roland tried to whittle a wooden statue of Dale Earnhardt for the church raffle. After fifteen minutes and three Band-Aids, he had carved what looked more like a melted garden gnome, but he proudly called it “Victory Lap Jesus.” Roland was so satisfied with the effort, he went to the house to get a good pull of that Peach shine. While he was gone from the barn, that’s when a curious chicken walked off with the knife. Now the RoseCraft Overall Creek Farm Hand pocket knife resides somewhere in the coop, guarded by the world's most territorial hen, named Rhonda.

And IF Roland does find it, but can’t wrestle it back from Rhonda ... well, there’s no shame in heading back down to Mule Barn Mercantile to see if Buckshot has its twin.


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Great story, easy to form a mental picture of that ole store.
I have black and brown in case my " Rhonda" swipes one.😃
 
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