- Joined
- Oct 30, 2002
- Messages
- 3,974
Now we all have to make fun of Mr. Crump for being a little ssssssslllllloooooooowwwwwww on the uptake.
--nathan
--nathan
If I get the 1/2 bushel, I'll put up some jars up for sale. Just to cover my cost.:thumbup:
The point? Those damn Vikings got their hands in everyone at some time.
I will take a Jar, just let me know when to send $.If I get the 1/2 bushel, I'll put up some jars up for sale. Just to cover my cost.:thumbup:
What I mean by 'oh, crap' is that I think I'm starting to gravitate into the knife making fold, and you guys are nuts!
Ps. from what I've been lead to believe, that 'relish' will not only give you the shits, but napalm will make up 64%, by volume, of said expectorant.:thumbup:
Just like a crack dealer! Gave me a taste for free, now I gotta pay for it ...
Hey, I resemble that remark!
You forgot aroma. Yer slackin' man!
I tell you what, Indian George's Heat-Treating "relish" really did just about burn my damn face off. He "warned" me that it was made of jalapenos, habaneros, and some mysterious Portugese concoction that no English-speaking-person would ever fully understand. In my infinite ignorance, I assumed it was something resembling hot sauce.
Gawd help me... I volunteered to try some.
So he sent me a sample. For free... that should have been my first clue. It had sort of a, well, violent aroma, but I'm braver than I am smart, so one night I put some in my burrito.
Goodness knows what kind of patina that stuff would put on any particular steel! I suspect 1084 would just plain melt, and even highly-alloyed steels like CPM154 would probably warp or turn green or something. Only controlled, scientific testing will tell for sure. Perhaps Kevin Cashen could weigh in on this? Then again, his high-temp salt pots are like a mere tea kettle compared to a bowl of Indian George's Heat-Treat relish, so who knows?
Mind you, I only put a teaspoon of that horrific, chunky liquid madness called a "sauce" in my burrito. It really did taste wonderful, until the invisible flames started eating away at my lips and tongue. I needed a shave before I had supper that fateful night, but not after. If I had had the guts to light a smoke, I wouldn't have needed a lighter. Then again, if I had lit a smoke, I likely wouldn't have needed a haircut for a decade or so.
No amount of beer or sour cream quelled the voracious hellfire inside my skull; I assure you, I tried plenty of both. With a spoon.
My memory of this napalm-nightmare is a bit foggy, but I seem to recall slathering whole milk and sour cream all over my face... it didn't help. I vaguely remember wondering if the Geneva Convention had rules against this sort of thing.
My darling daughter laughed at me wildly, as my tortured body squirted toxic sweat from every pore, and I trembled madly and my face turned unnatural colors. She wisely declined to try a bite of the infernal burrito. Wisdom from the mouths of babes, indeed.
I'm fairly certain I lost five or more pounds just sitting there. Soon, I was no
longer just sweating; it was more like sublimating precious bodily fluids directly into the atmosphere. And it was much more painful than it sounds.
Apparently, IG's HT relish is the perfect antidote for drunkenness, because no matter how much beer I drank, the pain wouldn't go away. Good strong whiskey tasted like liquid air and had no effect at all. Being a stout and strong-willed Viking-helmeted sort of character, I tried my best anyway, and drank admirably.
To no avail; the ravaging effects of this hellacious potion mocked my valiant
efforts and reduced me to a blithering mass of weakened, charred, whimpering flesh.
My girlfriend (at the time) thought this was all quite hilarious until I smooched her a couple hours later, and she began to literally weep because the relish residue on my lips burned her so badly. Serves her right...
I slept on the couch that night... at least I assume so, because I woke up in the fetal position next to it. Some kind soul had left a fire-extinguisher within reach, just in case. Spontaneous human combustion is no joke, people!
I must say, I wasn't hung-over one bit the next day, as far as I can recall. It's difficult to remember, though... everything's kind of bleary. I do have nightmarish memories of violent, fiery expulsions from... well... there's no need to describe that horror in polite company.
Oddly enough, I really do want more of that relish. It tasted AWESOME. I think IG is the Devil or something...
-JT
James that is the funniest thing I have read in a long long time. I laughed so hard my jaws hurt. Thanks I really needed that
IG if you need peppers just let me know. I can get all of them you want. I have two nurses that work for me and they bring them to me all of the time. Just let me know and I wil send you some free ofcourse. And then if you feel the need to send some HT relish back this way that would be ok too.
I will take a Jar, just let me know when to send $.
I tell you what, Indian George's Heat-Treating "relish" really did just about burn my damn face off. He "warned" me that it was made of jalapenos, habaneros, and some mysterious Portugese concoction that no English-speaking-person would ever fully understand. In my infinite ignorance, I assumed it was something resembling hot sauce.
Gawd help me... I volunteered to try some.
So he sent me a sample. For free... that should have been my first clue. It had sort of a, well, violent aroma, but I'm braver than I am smart, so one night I put some in my burrito.
Goodness knows what kind of patina that stuff would put on any particular steel! I suspect 1084 would just plain melt, and even highly-alloyed steels like CPM154 would probably warp or turn green or something. Only controlled, scientific testing will tell for sure. Perhaps Kevin Cashen could weigh in on this? Then again, his high-temp salt pots are like a mere tea kettle compared to a bowl of Indian George's Heat-Treat relish, so who knows?
Mind you, I only put a teaspoon of that horrific, chunky liquid madness called a "sauce" in my burrito. It really did taste wonderful, until the invisible flames started eating away at my lips and tongue. I needed a shave before I had supper that fateful night, but not after. If I had had the guts to light a smoke, I wouldn't have needed a lighter. Then again, if I had lit a smoke, I likely wouldn't have needed a haircut for a decade or so.
No amount of beer or sour cream quelled the voracious hellfire inside my skull; I assure you, I tried plenty of both. With a spoon.
My memory of this napalm-nightmare is a bit foggy, but I seem to recall slathering whole milk and sour cream all over my face... it didn't help. I vaguely remember wondering if the Geneva Convention had rules against this sort of thing.
My darling daughter laughed at me wildly, as my tortured body squirted toxic sweat from every pore, and I trembled madly and my face turned unnatural colors. She wisely declined to try a bite of the infernal burrito. Wisdom from the mouths of babes, indeed.
I'm fairly certain I lost five or more pounds just sitting there. Soon, I was no
longer just sweating; it was more like sublimating precious bodily fluids directly into the atmosphere. And it was much more painful than it sounds.
Apparently, IG's HT relish is the perfect antidote for drunkenness, because no matter how much beer I drank, the pain wouldn't go away. Good strong whiskey tasted like liquid air and had no effect at all. Being a stout and strong-willed Viking-helmeted sort of character, I tried my best anyway, and drank admirably.
To no avail; the ravaging effects of this hellacious potion mocked my valiant
efforts and reduced me to a blithering mass of weakened, charred, whimpering flesh.
My girlfriend (at the time) thought this was all quite hilarious until I smooched her a couple hours later, and she began to literally weep because the relish residue on my lips burned her so badly. Serves her right...
I slept on the couch that night... at least I assume so, because I woke up in the fetal position next to it. Some kind soul had left a fire-extinguisher within reach, just in case. Spontaneous human combustion is no joke, people!
I must say, I wasn't hung-over one bit the next day, as far as I can recall. It's difficult to remember, though... everything's kind of bleary. I do have nightmarish memories of violent, fiery expulsions from... well... there's no need to describe that horror in polite company.
Oddly enough, I really do want more of that relish. It tasted AWESOME. I think IG is the Devil or something...
-JT
I have sent some to Canada, but I had to include a MSDS sheet.Say, do you know if it can be legally shipped to Canada?
Might have to export it myself and trust eek it to Canada Post.