Okay, so we're supposed to document all use of blades over 3" unless said use is for cooking, outdoor activities, or defeating the Tatars. Therefore, I must confess another transgression:
Hear me out, a washcloth fell into the abyss behind the washing machine:
Note that thing that looks like a grabber is actually some overpriced organic swiffer- thing that doesn't work. The 1796 Light Cavalry Sabre was my only hope.
It's not stupid if it works.
But, to bring balance, I did use this little number to open up and install a new car seat. So there's that.