You're a true knife nut when.....

-You know what knife you had on you when Kennedy was shot...

-You stroke her, get down on your knees and tell her how much you love her, how much she means to you, you promise to take good care of her forever...then, with a tear in your eye, you put her back in the sheath...

-Rent shment, I need a new Corbit DA auto...

-When you have more knives than your wife has jewelery, and she has a LOT of jewelery...

-When you buy 3 of every knife you buy, one to use lightly, one to abuse and one to just look at in awe and rapture, while stroking it lovingly...

-When your wife tells you you have to get dressed up for the evening, and the first thing you think about is which knife is the dressiest...

-When you're in a movie theatre and the actors on the screen are using a knife, you reach in your pocket and play around with your own knife so you dont feel left out...

-Your toilet seat is black G-10, you have your cordless phone inlayed with mother of pearl, and the TV remote has mammoth ivory handles...
 
When you are caught in a sudden rainstorm all you can think about is having to strip all your hardware down to dry out.

You get all frustrated when someone asks to borrow a knife because you cannot decide which one of the half dozen you have on you to fish out.

When Paul Hogan fishes out his Bowie and said "Now this is a knife!" in Crocodile Dundee just about everybody in the cinema was impressed, except you. You on the other hand have seen the HI 21" Ang Khola khukuri.

Andrew Limsk
 
- when your wife is away for the weekend, and you sleep with ALL your knives. ALL OF THEM.

- when you look at people and determine their personality based on what type of knife you think will suit them ("I think he's more of a kershaw boa type.")

- When you're depressed, you snap out of it by buying a new knife that you already own THREE of.

- When you take your knife to the crapper to fondle, rather than taking a magazine to read.
 
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