Off Topic "Mall Ninja" : Is just mere ownership of certain types of blade enough to earn the title ?

Well if you loose your hard won tacti-coolio cred, not even the MALL NINJAS will go a Ninjin with you.
 
Shouldn't this one get you a membership also?
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While that art knife by Elijah Isham is the kind of thing that mall ninjas would worship on an altar, only the richest of them could ever afford it and they'd never fully appreciate it for what it is. It's just a really nice piece of design and execution that's not entirely practical. I've looked at that one a lot, but I just can't justify the price for a knife that would see very little use other than infrequent fondling. Also, putting one of Elijah's knives in a mall ninja thread...it's just so wrong.
 
I much prefer Cold Steel functionality over that particular piece of Decepticon Poop "Art" from WE ! :rolleyes:
Elijah Isham (R.I.P.) pushed the limits on art vs. function. But I donā€™t consider his designs ā€œmall ninjaā€. To me, the mall ninja has to be able to buy knives a Taco Bell employee or comic book store worker could afford. Knives that you might have found in the back of a Soldier of Fortune magazine in the 80ā€™s or 90ā€™s.
 
Elijah Isham (R.I.P.) pushed the limits on art vs. function. But I donā€™t consider his designs ā€œmall ninjaā€. To me, the mall ninja has to be able to buy knives a Taco Bell employee or comic book store worker could afford. Knives that you might have found in the back of a Soldier of Fortune magazine in the 80ā€™s or 90ā€™s.
IDK , I've seen a fair amount of ridiculous tacticool gear at very high prices , so there must be some well financed Mall Ninjas (or similar) out there buying it all . šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø
 
IDK , I've seen a fair amount of ridiculous tacticool gear at very high prices , so there must be some well financed Mall Ninjas (or similar) out there buying it all . šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø
There are different levels of dorkdom. ā€œMall ninjaā€ to me is bottom rung.. lowest cost tactically acceptable. The well to do dude buying gear is ā€œtacticoolā€.
 
There are different levels of dorkdom. ā€œMall ninjaā€ to me is bottom rung.. lowest cost tactically acceptable. The well to do dude buying gear is ā€œtacticoolā€.
Oh yeah ! Money definitely changes everything . :rolleyes:

Poor people are mentally ill hoarders vs rich eccentric collectors . šŸ¤Ŗ

Different standards apply , depending on class , wealth and power . :(
 
Hmm, knives with broken tips from throwing them at a tree. And any knife that is clearly visible that hasn't been sharpened a dozen times, showing the normal love of a working man's knife.
 
8 pages this is a very important matter not so easily settled.

Perhaps a special committee needs to be created and convene to discuss various levels of mall ninja training and implement a set of minimum standards to meet certification.

These standards may have to vary depending on different things for example countries like the UK were adjustments may have to be made for example sword may have to be replaced with giant plastic sword shaped sporks and switchblade sporks in place of imported low cost auto openers. A sealed tea kettle filled with enough water to provide some weight attached to a long chain can be a formidable martial arts weapon and may be considered approved UK mall ninja gear. The black ninja costume and split toe boots with a discreet top hat that can be pulled down over the face with a hidden split to form eye openings in this instant ninja mask would fit right in with UK pop culture so no problem there.

A thick knobby neon green glow in the dark walking stick (think mutant turtles "type") would be fine in the UK (actually I find that appealing too.) A big bobby whistle that also blows out a lot of smoke ? Small shepherd;s pie patties heavily spiced with hot pepper in place of shuriken to throw in a vicious opponent's face.
 
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Several a time a rock or a chunk of concrete NINJA THROWING THINGS saved me from a few non legal intent get in close melee "Persuaders" (See how PC I was so I didn't shame or make thieving pieces of sh@t feel bad!), so I failed to be a mall ninja intent on using my EDC knife in an armed melee combat. šŸ˜­
 
Tempt NOT the BLADE!!

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If the term has any validity at all , I always thought it should apply only to some kind of inappropriate , obnoxious public display of weapons .

I thought it might also apply to poorly designed and/or junky tacticool stuff that pretend to be actual weapons .

So , what does this label mean to you (if anything ) ?
Simply owning "mall ninja" knives makes you a mall ninja about as much as owning a katana and some shurikens makes you a real ninja, or owning basketball shoes makes you basketball player.
 
Simply owning "mall ninja" knives makes you a mall ninja about as much as owning a katana and some shurikens makes you a real ninja, or owning basketball shoes makes you basketball player.
One should never be ashamed of their ā€œmall ninjaā€ status. The food courts and pathways of our brick & mortar retail establishments need the protective services they offer, lest they fall to ruin at the hands of vagrants and teenage ruffians.

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I got my first EDC at a mall at like, 12. Tasteful-looking fake wood, actually (considering what they had), a single-edge dagger shape, half-serrated, of course. We got all our knives and pipes and related items there as young teens, it was great, the old Indian man who ran it was a wonderful pal. Found the knife again at 18, used it to cut down a noose someone had hidden in my local wilderness, realized I should carry a proper knife, and, here I am, 30 Spydies and Victorinox and 10 Cold Steel and and and into this hobby... it was my start, looking at "badass" knives!

Once brought a crazy dude there, he bought a hollow-handled knife, fills it with weed and brings it to school the following Monday, was about 15 now, and it would have been unnoticed if he did not have a total meltdown at the end of the day, 5th period, out of 6, throwing his chair, swearing and all, all out of a random urge he had to stand up cause his "legs hurt". Last words I hear before Security and the Dean got him were "Fv[k you, Dean!" as though it was his name.

I felt a little bad for showing this dude the store, knowing he was more than a little nanners, after he threw smoke bombs in the road over the side of his gated community, in his dad's Escalade, in the oven and then in his living room, scorching the crap out of it all, and stabbing/letting us carve the crap out of his walls, before firing on his own walls and starting some fires in plastic bottles... (gotta love rich gated communities) until he started making some molotov cocktails with IBC bottles, and throwing them out his back door at an adjacent parking lot over the gate, but hit at tree... at that point, I ran.... like I said, felt bad, until myself, my girlfriend at the time and like 4 other friends found ourselves in the office talking to a cop cause he told them he knew we knew he had it. Thank God they did not identify the guy over the age of 18 there with us, he has this unfortunate habit of buying people things they use improperly. Bought one guy a bottle of vodka and he set fire to the apt. of his ex and baby (they lived) and then committed police suicide at a middle school in town. Knife Full O' Weed.... should be a song. Guy has since been shot in the head and had a child, the experience seemed to make him get his priorities straight. Even though he now goes by "Turbo". Seriously.

Mall Knife Adventures.
 
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