Smoke needed

Danny,

Howard is right. Don't sit there and let it get too hard to change. The longer we don't seek help the harder and longer it takes to re-rewire the damaged areas.

Take care of yourself.
 
Danny. I cry as I write this. I can only imagine the grief and sorrow you are experiencing, but you have to put your present circumstances in perspective. On May 1, 2007 our daughter died unexpectedly. We poured ourselves into her for 19 years. For 19 years she was all that we lived for. For 19 years she was the center of our lives. And then she was gone. Really gone Danny....gone forever, and the isn't a chance in hell that we will see her again. As horrible as your situation is, I would give anything to be in your predicament...I would give anything to have the slimmest chance to see my daughter again. I would settle for not being able to see her for 20 years, and I would live every day making myself ready for that 21st year. Stand up Danny. Brush yourself off and live your life. Be the best father you can be given the road you find yourself on. Fall down 7 times, stand up 8 Danny. Pull yourself together. Someday your child will need you and I, for one, consider you a damn lucky man. Breath!
 
If your wife, her family, and Japan are all in unjust opposition to you and your rights as a husband and parent, perhaps it would be in your best interest to come back to the U.S.

If your wife has abandoned you without just cause, refused to communicate with you directly, is telling lies about you, and has stated that she wants you out of her life forever, then your obligation to her is finished. She is the cause of all your pain. You are not the one who is at fault.

You should come back to America where people care about you and will treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve. I have tried to make sense of the Japanese mentality for many years, and still cannot understand the way they view the world. It is completely unlike any other culture, and much of it I find highly offensive. You are not the one at fault. If no-one will help you, or reason with you, or compromise, then you need to leave.

I am truly sorry for all you have suffered.
 
I appreciate this. I really do. How many smoke threads have I seen go up.
Rarely do they end badly, sometimes, but not too often.
I came to Japan for Budo. I am not finished doing that yet.
In September we will put on the first of a from-now-on annual demonstration of the Togakure Ryu at the Togaku shrine.
Sensei asked me to play my biwa at that event.
I cannot conceive of how I will play with all of the joy gone from my soul, but I will do it for my baby, so she will be proud of me someday.
My mother spent a large chunk of her savings to fly out here and be with me.
It isnt easy for a 64 yr old overweight grandmother to fly 12 hours coach.
I won't forget how much people tried to do for me in this awful time of my life.
 
I'm glad your Mom was able to travel...mine has always been my best friend too, no matter how long or how far we have been separated. We are blessed to have them. Spend time with her...she can be your rock during this time.
 
DannyinJapan said:
I appreciate this. I really do. How many smoke threads have I seen go up.
Rarely do they end badly, sometimes, but not too often.
I came to Japan for Budo. I am not finished doing that yet.
In September we will put on the first of a from-now-on annual demonstration of the Togakure Ryu at the Togaku shrine.
Sensei asked me to play my biwa at that event.
I cannot conceive of how I will play with all of the joy gone from my soul, but I will do it for my baby, so she will be proud of me someday.
My mother spent a large chunk of her savings to fly out here and be with me.
It isnt easy for a 64 yr old overweight grandmother to fly 12 hours coach.
I won't forget how much people tried to do for me in this awful time of my life.
Click to expand...

Danny, you said it, for your daughter. Bring back your joy for her. Glad your mom could come over. Lean on her strength.
 
Very sorry to learn of your situation, Danny. Never give up hope. Just get through today. Tomorrow things will change for the better. You have to believe.

Semp
 
Still praying for you Danny.

Enjoy your mother. And your music.

Joy will return. It'll take time.
 
You really need to talk to the American Embassy and get some advice. Hang in there, Danny. Prayers from Texas.
Terry
 
Wow! I leave for a bit and things go to hell! This situation sucks real bad! :( I'm real sorry to hear about it.

If I had an opportunity to grab the child and make an unobstructed dash for the airport I know what I would be thinking good and hard about doing. They don't want to behave like civilized people? To hell with them. Leave them to their racist xenophobia and delusions of superiority.
 
More prayers. Danny, it might be time to get in touch with the Embassy. If they are trying to force you to leave, then it is time to have some officials on your side... or at least informed of what is going on. They might not be able to do anything about the custody situation, but I'm sure they can help with any deportation issues (or whatever they are trying). A phone call or visit couldn't hurt.

Alan
 
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