Why is losing a pet harder for me than a human?

Discussion in 'Community Center' started by PURPLEDC, Aug 22, 2015.



    Apr 4, 2007
    Sorry to put a downer post in on the forum but im just really torn up this week. I own five pugs and one of them will be leaving me soon. A month ago he was diagnosed with advance lymphoma and he is at the end of his run. He was doing great up until today where it seems he has lost the desire to try and its seriously hurting. He isnt in pain but you can tell he is tired.

    What is odd is i never get like this over the loss of family and friends. I think maybe its because with humans you can communicate on a level we simply cant with animals and their is an understanding. We know what is happening we are aware of our fate and the fate of others and for me I am able to make peace with that.

    But I look at my dog and It takes all I can muster to hold back the tears. We never knew anything was wrong. He never gave us a sign of trouble. And we take our dogs to the vet multiple times a year. I guess I wish i could just have him understand one thing. That we are sorry and we love him. His sister seems to be very depressed. As if she knows something is wrong but again there is no understanding. When I look into my dogs eyes I cant tell if its a "its ok" or a "why me?" and that kills me. Who knows maybe its a "i want a treat" I have no idea. I think the topic of death being my worst fear and my least favorite aspect of life has me never wanting to fully commit to anything. And no matter how many times I have to say goodbye it never gets easier. Each one is unique and every goodbye hurts in its own unique way. And its the only thing I can say I truly hate. Sorry.
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2015
  2. Jim_Craig


    Jul 25, 2015

    Sorry to hear about your pug.

    We just got biopsy results yesterday for our 8 year old pitty, confirming lymphoma. Hasn't eaten anything since Wednesday when the biopsy was done.

    This is killing my wife, as he is her pup, hand picked from the litter at 8 weeks. He really is like her baby. She is at a total loss at what to do for him.

    Guess we will both take this ride together. It's hard to believe how this little furry critters can work their way deep into our hearts.

    Best of luck to you.
  3. bld522


    Feb 3, 2004
    I've wondered about that, too. I think it's mostly a matter of expectations. We have complicated expectations and dependencies on the people in our lives. But the only expectation we have of our pets is that they love us. And dogs are experts at doing that. Is it any wonder they're easy to bond with?
  4. Insipid Moniker

    Insipid Moniker Gold Member Gold Member

    Feb 28, 2011
    I'm so sorry to hear this and my thoughts go out to you. Losing pets is a real knife to the gut and it never fails to absolutely destroy me.
  5. bld522


    Feb 3, 2004
    Me too . . . to the point that I haven't had the heart to go out and get another dog after we lost our Golden Retriever some years ago. Putting her down was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.
  6. TinyDog

    TinyDog Gold Member Gold Member

    Feb 28, 2015
    Purple DC,

    Not a downer post! Think of his life as "Good as it could have Been" You obviously loved him and did what you could. He loves you for that, PROMISE! I am not here on the sidelines as 21 years ago I had to put down my loved one of nearly 17 years old, quite uncommon to live to this length. But ever since then I have carried her dog tag with me on my key chain so in a sense she is always with me. Perhaps there something like this you can do that will help ease your distress. I do feel for you and things will get better with time. I have (2) now and know the day will come, that's just how it is.... But when it does, My thought will be: "I have been the best I ever could have for them" Its all good bud, my thoughts are with you!! Tiny D
    jackknife likes this.
  7. Krav

    Krav Platinum Member Platinum Member

    Jun 6, 2013
    Sorry you have to go through this. All my pets are family period. They love us unconditional weather I'm in a bad mood, being a jerk, selfish, or anything else they still love us. They just don't have a voice to tell us. They are my buddy companion and bring me so much joy and happiness. They don't care if I'm having a bad day they still greet me at the door with love and happiness, everyday. When that's gone there is a void a empty spot a hole that takes time to fill. I cherish the time I had with my pets and I know they are in a better place not suffering anymore. Putting my dog down was the most unselfish act I could do for him. It wasn't about me or my feelings, it was about him and doing the right thing.
    Cutfinger and jackknife like this.


    Apr 4, 2007
    Thanks everyone. I didnt even want to make to post but it just got to a point today that I had to get it off my chest. I got family but you cant talk to them about it as they just tear up with you and then your all in the dumps. He is just such a darn good dog. The best an owner could ask for


    I am so sorry you and your wife have to go through this. I cant tell you what to do or how to feel. I can only tell you what I decided to do. I have chosen to spoil him rotten for the what time he has left. New bed, a good bath and as long as the food doesnt have a risk of making him feel ill I will spoil him as much as I can until he is gone. My thinking is I cant tell him how I feel and have him understand. But maybe I can show him.
    Cutfinger likes this.
  9. Jim_Craig


    Jul 25, 2015
    Do what you can for him. Spend the time you can.

    Just 4 hours after I posted about Bo, he lost the battle. He passed over the bridge quietly with my wife laying next to him on the floor.

    Unfortunately, I was at the pet store trying to get some nutritional supplements to try and get some food into him. We didn't know he was this sick, and would go so quickly.

    Our family is a wreck right now.

    I'll miss you Big Boy! [emoji24]
  10. Shann


    Sep 2, 2004
    I am very sorry to all who recently have had to go through this. When you have to put down a pet, the Vet hands you back the collar and sends you on your way. When you get home there is such a void. The house seems so empty.
  11. Sir Joe

    Sir Joe

    May 30, 2015
    Because humans do not love unconditionally. Pets (some kinds of) do.
    I am not sure it is necessarily a good thing though.
    Sometimes I see dogs loving obeying and fearing people who I find horrible, and I ask to myself how can a pet be so blind.
    But, kids do that too, when they are very young and they still cannot see how dumb (sometimes) their parents are.

    Every lost has got also the "half full" side.
    All what you did with your pet. That stays.


    Apr 4, 2007
    Man. I am really really sorry. Thats really all I can say not wanting to upset you further in this hard time. But, If you ever need to talk about it with someone who definitely understands email me. [email protected].
  13. orezona


    Feb 13, 2015
    This one hits me hard, too.

    I sobbed like a baby when my cat had to be put down in my arms 3 years ago. He was only 9 but goddamn that little fuzzy piece of sh*t left an impression on me.

    Sincerely sorry for everyone dealing with pets on their way out or recently gone. I feel for you...
  14. JAB

    JAB Gold Member Gold Member

    Dec 13, 2005
    I'm so sorry for what you guys are going through:( - it's always so hard when that day comes; smoke sent for those in need.

    Our pets are often more family that our human relatives and they love us unconditionally so we owe it to them to love them back and treasure the time we spend together.

    I know it hurts, but try to remember the good times y'all went through. I've got to go, I have something in my eye...
  15. Jim_Craig


    Jul 25, 2015
    Thanks everyone for your sympathy and support. I think the post just before this one sums it up quite well. They are often closer to us than family, probably because we have to meet their physical needs daily, while they repay us by helping to meet our emotional needs by loving us back, just for who we are.

    To all of you who have lived through the loss of a beloved pet, I definitely feel your pain, especially at this time. My home is missing an important member tonight, and there is a hole in my heart.

    Purple, didn't mean to steal your thread here. Thank for the offer of your email address's. Please edit your post to remove it so it doesn't get flooded with spam.


    Apr 4, 2007
    Son of a b. He pretty much stopped eating today. I got him to eat a bite of wet food from my hand and he took a piece of roasted pork but thats it. Really heavy labored breathing too. Waiting to hear back from the vet on if they think its time. Not ready to let go.
  17. Brisket


    Aug 2, 2009
    So sorry y'all are going through this. Our dogs are family to us and we have lost 2 to cancer long before their normal lifespan and they were 2 of my most beloved. It was gut wrenching both times and we spared no effort or expense in trying to save them. I prepare myself most of the food our 4 dogs eat in an effort to keep them as healthy as possible but I know something could strike any of them at anytime.

    My thoughts and prayers go out to both of your families. Treasure your memories my friends. Those pups were fortunate to be a part of your families.
    bflying likes this.
  18. 22-rimfire

    22-rimfire Gold Member Gold Member

    Nov 20, 2005
    Pets are more or less totally dependent on you. You take care of them. They show affection and you return it. If they could only talk?

    We have a cat that is slowly declining and it will tear my wife up when it's over. I know he's in pain, but my wife will not hear of putting him to sleep.
  19. Jim_Craig


    Jul 25, 2015
    Purple, Sorry to say that is exactly what happened with Bo. Quit eating, and the labored breathing is symptomatic.

    It will be soon I fear.
  20. charleslee


    Nov 1, 2009
    Purple-sorry I'm a little late in replying but I really feel for you! I'm also an animal lover. I have a 13 yr. old German Shepherd & w/ have to go through the same heartache one of these days. Be strong my friend. Your pug w/ be at peace. Think of all the joy he brought you. God Bless!!!

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