Sorry to put a downer post in on the forum but im just really torn up this week. I own five pugs and one of them will be leaving me soon. A month ago he was diagnosed with advance lymphoma and he is at the end of his run. He was doing great up until today where it seems he has lost the desire to try and its seriously hurting. He isnt in pain but you can tell he is tired. What is odd is i never get like this over the loss of family and friends. I think maybe its because with humans you can communicate on a level we simply cant with animals and their is an understanding. We know what is happening we are aware of our fate and the fate of others and for me I am able to make peace with that. But I look at my dog and It takes all I can muster to hold back the tears. We never knew anything was wrong. He never gave us a sign of trouble. And we take our dogs to the vet multiple times a year. I guess I wish i could just have him understand one thing. That we are sorry and we love him. His sister seems to be very depressed. As if she knows something is wrong but again there is no understanding. When I look into my dogs eyes I cant tell if its a "its ok" or a "why me?" and that kills me. Who knows maybe its a "i want a treat" I have no idea. I think the topic of death being my worst fear and my least favorite aspect of life has me never wanting to fully commit to anything. And no matter how many times I have to say goodbye it never gets easier. Each one is unique and every goodbye hurts in its own unique way. And its the only thing I can say I truly hate. Sorry.