I thought Barry Manilow music was against the Geneva convention!
Put me way out in front in the open, with my Swis 1911 long rifle, ala Legolas on the hill shooting the wargs as they came after the Rohirrim.
After they shoot me full of holes, arrows, or microwave my insides, I will unsheath the mighty 25" Kumar sirupati, and lay about me as did Hurin on the day he held the rear so Turgon could escape after the battle of un numbered tears.
Before they haul me off, I will empty my Makarov into the troll guards. (or whatever kind of guards they have)
After they have me in the concentration camp(AKA New Jersey), I will read from my Bible, and then discuss theology and philosophy with them, upon which, they will all flee back towards Montana, where you will all be able to easily pick them off as they wander aimlessly out in the open ground.
Everybody aim carefully, fire twice, and we all get home in time for Monday night football!
Tom